Tit for Tat
Every now and then a story comes along that puts our world's seemingly insurmountable problems--poverty, homlessness, record deficits, misplaced weapons of mass destruction--seem petty by comparison. For example, who can worry about starving kids in Bengladesh when Jordan's 34FF breasts are in danger of exploding?

For the uninitiated, Jordan is a rather well endowed (yes, I honestly believe they're real) British model. She recently departed for an Australian rain forest to participate in the filming of the latest I'm a Celebrity! Get Me Out of Here! Some doctors are concerned that if leeches should attach themselves to her breasts, they may become inflamed and explode!

Her breasts, I mean. Not the leeches.

Perhaps I should volunteer to go along and provide any necessary first aid.