So Funny It's Painful

When I was a wee little lad, one lesson my mother taught me was that if I made a mess, I had to clean it up before I could go outside and play. It was my "responsibility," she said, and a sense of responsibility was something all adults needed.

Obviously my mother never met George W. Bush.

For the last several weeks the Bush administration has been working to reach some sort of long term security deal with Iraq. This new agreement was needed for two reasons.

First, the current United Nations resolution allowing the presence of American troops in Iraq expires on December 31st. Even the U.S. Congress' authorization for Bush's Iraq adventure is tied to that U.N. resolution. So unless a new, separate agreement is reached with the Iraqi government, the continued presence of American troops in Iraq would become illegal under both international AND American law.

Secondly, with Bush leaving office in January, he has been increasingly desperate to come up with some sort of lasting legacy. A long term security agreement with Iraq, allowing for several large, permanent American military bases in that nation, looked to be his last hope.

Unfortunately, the Iraqis have not been cooperating. They apparently feel that the presence of foreign troops only continues to further aggravate the situation in Iraq--something many war opponents on OUR side of the Atlantic have been saying for the last several years.

Consequently Al-Maliki's government has demanded a concrete timetable for the departure of American troops as part of any long term security agreement. The Bush people, in their eternal wisdom, have not been willing to grant them that.

Any hope for that long term deal is now officially dead. The Bush administration has now decided to settle for some sort of temporary "bridge" document that will allow U.S. forces to remain in Iraq beyond the end of the year. But any long term agreement will now have to be negotiated by whoever takes office on January 20.

Translation: Let the next President clean up Bush's mess.

So after five years of war, after wasting the lives of 4118 (and counting) American soldiers, after causing the deaths of tens of thousands of Iraqi civilians, after destabilizing the entire Middle East, after fueling the rage of anti-American Islamic militants worldwide, after pissing away a trillion dollars, and after leaving our nation's credibility among the international community in tatters, Bush won't have a single goddamn thing to show for it.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Time for a Timetable?

Anytime anyone opposed to the Iraq war has suggested setting a timetable for withdrawal, the Bush administration has condemned them as being irresponsible, or unpatriotic, or caving in to the enemy, or being a pussy. Setting such a timetable would only embolden the terrorists, according to our fearless leader.

Well, now there's yet someone else saying the U.S. should set a timetable for withdrawal. So who is this latest wuss who dares challenge the wizard--er, I mean, who dares challenge President Bush? Well, no, it's not Obama. And it's certainly not John McCain. For that matter, it's not any American political figure.

Rather, it's none other than Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki suggesting that a timetable is necessary. His comment came during a meeting with ambassadors from other Arab nations, and is tied to the current negotiations about what role the U.S. military will have in Iraq once the current United Nations mandate expires on December 31.

Maybe We Should 'Harshly Interrogate' Him

The REAL Price per Gallon

WTF?

After weeks of inducing mass hysteria over tomatoes, the Food & Drug Administration now says that they may NOT be the source of a recent salmonella outbreak after all. The fresh doubt arises because people are still getting sick, long after the suspect tomatoes were pulled from stores and restaurants.

FDA investigators are now backtracking to see if some other fruit or vegetable is the culprit, or if the contamination is somehow spreading to otherwise clean food in warehouses.

What's next? Is someone going to tell us that there weren't actually any WMD's in Iraq, and that the whole thing was just a false alarm?

Your Deficit Dollars in Action

A new report by the Pentagon says that it will cost $100 billion (yes, that's the one a "b") to replace or repair equipment that is being worn out or damaged by the Iraq war. That includes everything from rifles to planes to armored vehicles. The situation is so dire, in fact, that the cost of equipment replacement may jeapordize a plan to add 92,000 soldiers and marines. This is above and beyond the $10-15 billion a month that the Iraq and Afghanistan wars are already costing us.

I say we take it out Bush's retirement benefits.

The NEW Iraq War

With all the other crap that has been going with Iraq, here's a story that's only now starting to make headlines: The United nations authorization under which the U.S has been operating in Iraq expires at the end of this year. And since the U.N. is unlikely to renew the current authorization, that means a new accord between Iraq and the U.s. will have to be reached in the coming months.

And therein lies the rub.

For the Americans, the difficulty is that any new agreement reached now will also effectively tie the hands of the new President that will be taking office next January 20. For the Iraqis, the debate goes to the very center of their future independence and sovereignty. And for the rest of the Arab world, the question centers on how much influence the meddlesome Iranians will have in Iraq.

The big question for Iraqis is how many permanent American bases to allow. They want fewer and the U.S. wants more. The U.S. also wants immunity from Iraqi laws for American soldiers and contractors. So far the two sides remain far apart on the issue, and at times negotiations have come close to breaking down entirely.

Even if negotiators are able to reach an agreement, it would still be subject to approval by the Iraqi Parliament. The U.S. Congress would also want to debate the matter, though the Bush administration is likely to argue that congressional approval is unnecessary. That would set up a major political battle in Washington even as politicians campaigning for the November elections.

And what happens if no new agreement is reached by the end of the year? Well, there are those who argue that the Iraq war would then become illegal on January 1.

Can't Get No Satisfaction

Now THAT'S An Exit Strategy!

William E. Odom: 1932-2008

William Odom has died. He was an outspoken early critic of the Iraq war, and as a former three star general, he had the credentials to back up his words.

Odom had served as a military adviser in both the Carter and Reagan administrations, and served as director of the National Security Agency under Reagan. He was also a forceful opponent of any compromise with the former Soviet Union. That's also why maybe more people should have listened to him in early 2003 when he warned that an invasion of Iraq would be "foolhardy and futile."

Last year he wrote an opinion piece for the Washington Post called "Victory Is Not an Option" in which he called for the withdrawal of American troops from Iraq.

Odom also addressed the argument that if we leave now, all sorts of horrible things will happen in Iraq:

Reflect on the double-think of this formulation. We are now fighting to prevent what our invasion made inevitable! Undoubtedly we will leave a mess -- the mess we created, which has become worse each year we have remained. Lawmakers gravely proclaim their opposition to the war, but in the next breath express fear that quitting it will leave a blood bath, a civil war, a terrorist haven, a "failed state," or some other horror. But this "aftermath" is already upon us; a prolonged U.S. occupation cannot prevent what already exists.

His words of wisdom will be sorely missed.

Bush's Legacy

According to a new Senate report about the lead up to the Iraq war, President Bush "led the nation to war on false premises." The report also accuses the White House of misstating Saddam Hussein's links to terrorism and ignoring doubts among intelligence agencies about Iraq's arms programs.

Gee, ya think?

The report basically confirms what a lot of other people have already said: The American people were deliberately lied to by our President. As a result, more than 4,000 American soldiers are dead and thousands more are crippled for life. Oh, and let's not forget the two trillion dollars this conflict will eventually cost us, the loss of American prestige throughout the world, and the fact that Osama bin Laden remains a free man.

Book 'Em

Scott McClellan's book, What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception, continues to make waves. The White House's reaction has, of course, been when of shock and surprise. They appear stunned that anyone would level such scurrilous against the greatest President in U.S. history.

Thing is, however, that McClellan really hasn't said anything that hasn't already been said by others. So for the White House to say that these accusations of deception and incompetence are unexpected is indicative of, well, profound deception and incompetence.

Gee, what a surprise.

What McClellan has done, however, is taken all the things other disillusioned former members of the Bush administration have already said and put them into one book. And as an ex-White House press secretary, he is also the highest ranking to say these things. As such, he gives those previous comments new credibility.

So why did he take so long to say these things? For his part, McClellan says that he didn't initially set out to write such a negative book. But, he says, "Over time, as you leave the White House and leave the bubble, you're able to take off your partisan hat and take a clear-eyed look at things." He said that was when he began to become "increasingly dismayed and disillusioned."

Welcome to the club, Scott.

NOW He tells Us?

A number of Bush administration officials have already written books highly critical of Dubya's presidency. One that is yet to come out, but has been highly anticipated, is the one from former press secretary Scott McClellan.

The wait is just about over. McClellan's What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception is coming out next week, and excerpts are beginning to become public. And the former White House spokesman is pulling no punches. Among his observations:

• Bush relied on "propaganda" to sell the war.
• The White House press corps was too easy on the administration during the run-up to the war.
• An admission that some of his own assertions from the briefing room podium turned out to be "badly misguided."
• After Hurricane Katrina, the White House "spent most of the first week in a state of denial."

Expanding further on Katrina, McClellan writes,

"One of the worst disasters in our nation's history became one of the biggest disasters in Bush's presidency. Katrina and the botched federal response to it would largely come to define Bush's second term. And the perception of this catastrophe was made worse by previous decisions President Bush had made, including, first and foremost, the failure to be open and forthright on Iraq and rushing to war with inadequate planning and preparation for its aftermath."

McClellan spent almost three years as press secretary and left the White House two years ago. At the risk of sounding ungrateful, it's taken him this long to figure this crap out? Isn't it kind of late? There are only 238 days left in Bush's presidency, and these revelations do no good at this point. The damage has been done.

It remains to be seen if Colin Powell will write a book. Assuming he does, he--even more than McClellan--will have to address the issue of why he didn't speak up sooner. More than any other individual, Powell had the stature and credibility to put a stop to the Iraq war before it ever started. All he would have had to do is voice his doubts. But he didn't, and Bush was able to go forward with the Iraq fiasco.

And now, more than five years later, over 4,000 American soldiers and hundreds of thousands of Iraqis are dead.... All because people like Powell and McClellan remained silent.

Oopsies

Earlier today President Bush vetoed a massive farm bill. The House of Representatives wasted no time overriding the veto with a 316-108 vote, thereby hitting the President with a major political defeat.

The Democrats' victory was short-lived, however, when it was discovered that they had accidentally left out a 34 page section from the copy of the bill they had sent to the White House. That means the President actually vetoed a bill that hadn't passed through Congress, and that Congress in return overrode a non-existent veto. The end result is the kind of procedural mess that can only happen in DC.

A humiliating mistake by Democrat congressional leaders? I suppose. But it's still gotta be less embarrassing than invading the wrong f*cking country, causing tens of thousands of senseless deaths, and destroying your nation's standing in the international community.

When Old Is New Again

Thanks to the rising cost of gasoline, small cars from the '90s are making a comeback. Used vehicles such as the Ford Festiva and Geo Metro, which had been selling for $1100 just a few months ago, are now going for as much as $6,000.

Thanks to their small engines, many of these cars used to get mileage comparable to today's hybrids. The Metro, for example, had a three cylinder engine. They were also lighter than today's cars. That's what gives them the advantage in mileage over newer cars.

And therein lies the rub: The reason those old cars were lighter was that they lacked such safety amenities like air bags, ABS brakes, and other collision avoidance systems. This prompts an interesting question from Jon Linkov of Consumer Reports:

"What is your life worth for that extra 10 miles per gallon?"

That may seem like a valid question, but it's misleading. Saving ten miles a gallon translates to maybe a dollar per 30 miles. Most of us, assuming we're not Britney Spears, don't get into accidents every 30 miles. So to compare the value of our lives to a savings of ten miles on a single gallon is simply wrong. It's like Bush and McCain trying to compare the Iraq war to the fight against Nazi Germany.

More importantly, the Geo Metro never cooked the intelligence in an effort to justify the invasion of a sovereign nation, thereby destabilizing the entire Middle East.

Rather, you need to look at the safety issue in terms of likelihood of a major collision. If you're a good driver, and the odds are that you may only experience a potentially fatal crash every 300,000 miles, then the question becomes "Is your life worth a savings of $10,000? Kind of changes a little bit, doesn't it?

Of course, this also assumes your Festiva doesn't get run over by an Abrams tank in Baghdad.

Just Admit We F*cked Up

In a recent speech, Vice President Dick Cheney said that “Failure in Iraq would embolden al Qaeda and other like-minded groups." He went on to say that Iraq would become a training ground for terrorists much like Afghanistan did in the '90s.

Well, that may well be true. But the problem with his logic is that whole reason this quandry exists in the first place is because we invaded Iraq, deposed the existing government, created a power vacuum, occupied a sovereign nation, and destabilized the entire Middle East. In other words, it's our fault.

In fact, every argument for staying in Iraq gets back to the same cause and effect: The reason the situation exists is because we invaded.

Undue influence in Iraq from Iran? Yes, but that's only because we provided the opening for Iran.

Civil war between the Sunnis and Shiites? Only because we got rid of the dictator that kept a tight lid on that situation.

Al Qaeda might turn Iraq into a training ground? Yes, but only because we invaded and provided them with the opportunity. The simple fact is that there was no Al Qaeda in Iraq while Saddam was in power.

Just once I would like to hear Bush or Cheney take responsibility for creating this mess.

A Crying Shame

Every now and then, we learn of new outrage perpetrated by our military leaders against those serving under them. And by "those serving under them," I mean the soldiers that are doing the actual fighting and dying in our current wars.

Last year it was the shameful treatment of the wounded at Walter Reed Army Hospital, supposedly our nation's finest facility to treat those wounded in service to their country. Not only were many soldiers being given substandard care, they were staying in squalid conditions.

Then a couple of weeks we learned of horrible conditions in the barracks at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. Again, it was the grunts who were being forced to put up with leaking ceilings and perpetually stopped-up plumbing.

Now, in what may be the greatest sign of indifference by our nation's leadership, comes word that at least 200 soldiers have been cremated at a facility in Delaware that normally handles PET cremations.

Whenever these various stories have come to light, Pentagon officials react with shock and outrage that such things exist.

What bullshit.

The fact that these situations exist in the first place means that someone in authority thinks they are acceptable. And the reason they think such conditions are acceptable is simply a reflection of profound indifference at the top of the chain of command.

Sure, people like President George Bush and Defense Secretary Robert Gates speak eloquently about the sacrifices made by the fallen, but what about their actions? How often has Bush or Gates actually traveled to Dover Air Force in Delaware, to the morgue that handles all the bodies of all military personnel killed overseas? How often have they bothered to honor those rows of coffins coming out of the military transport planes by showing up in person?

The only reason the cremation story became public is because some anonymous Pentagon officer finally did just that. He went to Dover to honor a fallen comrade who was returning to American soil.

Sure, some people will say that there's no way Bush could have known about this, that it's not his fault. On the contrary, it's entirely his responsibility. He got us into the Iraq mess, and now we're stuck. The conflict has now gone on so long that the deaths of our soldiers have become routine. There's no longer anything special about them. A coffin is just another package, and treated with no more dignity than a U.P.S. shipment.

And that's a crying shame.