Are Democrats Fit To Govern?

Last year when Florida and Michigan Democrats decided to move their presidential primaries up to January, the national party warned them that they would be in defiance of party rules and their delegates would not be seated. Both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama agreed to this. The two states' party leaders none the less thumbed their noses at the decision and went ahead with the early voting.

Not seating the delegates may seem like a harsh punishment, but rules are rules. Still, both states went ahead with their early voting and Clinton won both contests--though no actual delegates. At the time no one said squat about it because it was fully expected that she would wrap up the nomination early, and the Florida/Michigan thing would be forgotten.

But reality decided to rear its ugly head. As Clinton began to fall behind in the delegate count, it suddenly became apparent that those two state mattered a great deal to her. So what to do? Simple: Start clambering to change the rules you had previously agreed to. And to make it sound like a noble cause, start talking about how the voters of Florida and Michigan are being unfairly disenfranchised, and that such things are unfair in a democracy.

Well, boo-f*cking-hoo. If Clinton is so damn concerned that all votes should be counted, why didn't she speak up last year when national party leaders first made their decision? Why weren't her supporters protesting in the streets then? Let's also suppose for a moment that the situation was reversed, that it was Obama who was just a little behind. Would Clinton still unselfishly be seeking to change the rules and make sure all votes are counted?

So on Saturday the Democratic National Committee revisited the issue, and they decided to change the rules. Now the delegates from Michigan and Florida will be seated at the convention later this summer, but will only be allowed a half vote.

That is just stupid, and a further indication that Democrats have absolutely no balls. None. Zero. Zip. Nada. They may as well just run off and join the frakkin' Vienna Boys Choir and sing soprano. Is it really that difficult to stick to your own rules? Faced with an opportunity to show some decisiveness, the Committee instead decided on a course that pissed EVERYONE off: Obama supporters are upset that the rules were changed this late in the game while Clinton people are furious they're not getting the whole thing.

Granted, the half-vote compromise is not likely to alter the outcome of the race. Even giving the delegates a full vote probably wouldn't have mattered. But that's really not the point.

Party leaders made a decision to enforce the rules by not seating the delegates; Hillary Clinton and her campaign people agreed to this. To demand a change in those rules now is just wishy-washy. It's like her decision to vote in favor of the Iraq war back in 2002 and her recent attempts to come up with excuses for it. Sorry, but it's done.

What is it about Democrats and their inability to exhibit a backbone? It's like back in 2004 when the Swift Boat people started running ads questioning John Kerry's valor and whether or not he deserved the medals he got in Vietnam.

I kept waiting for the Democrats to fire back with a devastating salvo of their own. And guess what? I'm still waiting. All they would have had to do is run an ad asking how many medals George Bush won in Vietnam, then answer their own question by pointing out he didn't win any. Hell, the man never even went. His entire Vietnam war record consists of a dental appointment in Alabama. Yet somehow Bush is the one who gets portrayed as a war hero!?!?! Would it have been that difficult for Democrats to defend themselves?

Lewis Black said it best: "The Democrats not being able to find somebody to defeat George Bush is beyond belief. It's stunning. It would be like finding a normal person who would lose in the Special Olympics.""

And in 2006 Democrats won both houses of Congress largely on promises of getting us out of Iraq. Well, guess what? We're no closer to bringing the troops home now than we were two years ago.

And while former Bush administration officials are tripping over one another writing books chronicling this President's misdeeds--misdeeds that have cost thousands of lives--the Democrats themselves are doing nothing: No impeachment hearings, no serious investigations, no nothing. And when an occasional Democrat, like John Murtha, does speak out, the other members of his party scurry for cover, leaving him isolated.

So help the Democrats get some balls. If you want to make a donation to the party, don't give money. That's not what they really need. Instead go to this site and pick out a tasteful gift for the Democratic candidate of your choice.

Oopsies

Earlier today President Bush vetoed a massive farm bill. The House of Representatives wasted no time overriding the veto with a 316-108 vote, thereby hitting the President with a major political defeat.

The Democrats' victory was short-lived, however, when it was discovered that they had accidentally left out a 34 page section from the copy of the bill they had sent to the White House. That means the President actually vetoed a bill that hadn't passed through Congress, and that Congress in return overrode a non-existent veto. The end result is the kind of procedural mess that can only happen in DC.

A humiliating mistake by Democrat congressional leaders? I suppose. But it's still gotta be less embarrassing than invading the wrong f*cking country, causing tens of thousands of senseless deaths, and destroying your nation's standing in the international community.

For more details, scroll down to the post for Saturday, May 10.

I Got Your Impeachment Right Here, Pal

Ohio's Attorney General, Marc Dann, is now facing possible impeachment after resisting calls to voluntarily resign. Among other problems, he has admitted to having a consensual sexual relationship with a female staff member. He has also been accused of condoning sexual harassment in his office and hosting wild, drunken parties.

While it remains unclear if any laws have actually been broken, this story does illustrate an important difference between the two dominant parties in American politics: When Democrats engage in sexual shenanigans, it's with members of the opposite sex.

Are You A Republican?

To be a Republican today you need to believe:

• 1. Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals.
  
  
• 2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we-can't-find-Bin-Laden" diversion.
  
  
• 3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
  
  
• 4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq .
  
  
• 5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
  
  
• 6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
  
  
• 7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
  
  
• 8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
  
  
• 9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO's and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
  
  
• 10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
  
  
• 11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
  
  
• 12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
  
  
• 13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
  
  
• 14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
  
  
• 15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" in perpetuity for every Republican ever born, who will be born, or who might be born.
  
  
• 16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80's is irrelevant.

----From an email

Endangered Species

Heavy Medal

The White House has announced its annual recipients of the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Most of the names on the list certainly appear deserving. There's an economist, a political prisoner in Cuba, and a DNA reasearcher, among others. However, there is one name which does stick out like a sore thumb, and that is Henry Hyde.

Hyde is a former Republican congressman from Illinois and perhaps best known for his efforts to outlaw abortion. This is rather odd, since the Medal of Freedom is supposedly intended to honor those who work to further the cause of freedom. Yet while he was in congress, Hyde worked to restrict a woman's right to choose. How does working to impose a minority's religious beliefs on an entire nation qualify a person for the Medal of Freedom?

Then again, does the Presidential Medal of Freedom still matter? Is it really that much of an honor? The award was pretty much trivialized several years ago when Bush honored Paul Wolfowitz, Paul Bremer, and George Tenant with the medal.

And if the three principle architects of the Iraq fiasco qualified for the Medal of Freedom, then you may as well start selling the damn things on eBay.

Tough Love

Republicans in both houses of Congress have long maintained that they support the troops in Iraq. Many, in fact, go as far as to say that any opposition to the war undercuts the military.

In an effort to show just how much they love the men and women fighting in Iraq, Republican Senators today blocked a bill that would have given troops in Iraq more home leave.

Afterwards the Senators demonstrated their love of animals by going home and kicking the dog.

Finally, A Republican Who Makes Sense

In general, I consider the GOP to be populated by religious psychopaths who foam at the mouth. However, there are nonetheless a few Republicans who are actually rational and thoughtful with a firm grip on reality.

Senator Chuck Hagel of Nebraska is one of them. Here he is on Bill Maher's show addressing General Patreaus' recent Capital Hill testimony, the Iraq war, next year's elections, and the future of his party. The video runs just under eight minutes and is best summed up as.... Extraordinary.

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That--Unless It's In The Bathroom

When I first heard that a congressman had been arrested at Dulles Airport, I was initially overjoyed. I just knew, deep in my bones, that it was going to be another self-righteous holier-than-thou Republican lawmaker in trouble.

Needless to say, I was profoundly disappointed when I learned that the offender was Bob Filner, a Democrat from California. Even worse, it was a boring offense involving an argument over lost luggage. It's the type of thing that pretty much all of us can identify with.

I spent the next several days licking my wounds. To tell the truth, I would have preferred to spend my time licking something else, but I can't quite bend my neck that far.

However, I am glad to report that my faith in humanity has just been restored!!! And to whom do I owe this deeply personal spiritual rebirth? Why, none other than Senator Larry Craig from Idaho!!! And what did this Senator do that was so darn wonderful, you ask? Well, he got himself arrested. By coincidence, his arrest also took place at an airport. Unfortunately for Senator Craig, however, it had nothing to do with his bag.... Then again, perhaps it did.

It seems that Craig was arrested by an undercover officer in the men's room at the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport. No details, except that the Senator is denying that he engaged in any sort of "inappropriate conduct."

Hmmmm.... Any time the terms "United States Senator," "men's room," and "inappropriate conduct" show up in the same paragraph, it can't be good news for someone's political future.

Oh, and have I mentioned the best part? Craig is a self-righteous holier-than-thou Republican!!!!

Last Seen

In what many consider a surprise move, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has resigned. This removes a major lightning rod for controversy from the Bush administration; on the other hand, that lightning may now start striking closer to the President himself. It remains to be seen who Bush will name to replace him, and whether that nominee will be able to get approved by the Senate.

Mammal Or Fish? The Science Is Still Out On That

In a surprise move, top Bush adviser Karl "Lord Voldemort" Rove has announced he is leaving the White House. He claims this has nothing to do with the various investigations underway. Rove also admits that he doesn't think his departure will end those inquiries. In fact, Rove even said of his situation, "I noticed the other day some Democratic staffers were quoted calling me the big fish. Well, I'm Moby Dick and they're after me."

Someone needs to tell him that whales are actually mammals.... Or would such criticism amount to giving in to the terrorists?

Wolfie Goes Bye-Bye

Embattled World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz has finally thrown in the towel and resigned. His position had become increasingly precarious since it became public knowledge that he had negotiated a hefty pay increase for his girlfriend, also a World Bank employee.

Wolfowitz had tried to defend his actions by arguing that he had done nothing wrong, that the Bank's ethics committee had approved the raise, that people were unfairly picking on him, and that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. But in the end none of that mattered.

Some would argue that his tenure at the financial institution was doomed from the start. Even when Bush nominated Wolfowitz for the job in 2005, there was a lot of opposition. Most of it had to do with the fact that he had been Deputy Secretary of Defense under Rumsfeld and was one of the principal architects of the invasion of Iraq. And as the situation in the middle east has deteriorated further, the opposition to Wolfowitz had only intensified.

It is unclear at the moment who will replace him. After the turmoil of the last few months, the World Bank needs someone cool and competent at its helm; someone whose character is beyond reproach; someone who has a proven track record in Washington and is acceptable to both Democrats and Republicans.

Say.... Alberto Gonzales may be looking for a job soon!