Now That I've Had My Coffee....

Well, I tried removing the Obama bumper sticker from my car, but it wouldn't come off. Guess that means I'm stuck voting for him despite the 3 A.M. text message. Plus, there's the minor detail that McCain is a semi-senile lying sack of crap (actually, I was being polite) who would like nothing more than to get us into a war with Russia, if only he could remember where Russia is.

In my defense, however, I'm not the only person who, um, "noticed" the time on that text message.

This also serves to illustrate why I'd make a lousy President. If some dumbschmuck advisor woke me up at 3 in the morning with news that, say, Russia had just invaded Poland, I'd immediately have the Secret Service execute the offending adviser. Then for good measure I'd order the nuclear annihilation of both Russia AND Poland. Sure, bloggers would probably condemn me as a madman, but at least I could count on a good night's sleep from then on out.

But the timing isn't the only bad thing about the Biden choice. The man is just boring. If you've heard him speak, chances are you've never actually heard him speak because you fell asleep. Biden has appeared on Real Time with Bill Maher a couple of times, and he's one of the more boring guests. The man may be an intellectual giant among the members of the Senate, but what good is it if you end up sending your audience to Snoozeville?

There's one other lingering concern: Biden ran for the 1988 Democratic presidential nomination. Biden ended up withdrawing after being accused of plagiarizing a speech. Even though the charge was blown out of proportion, it's just the type of thing Republican attack dogs will try to capitalize on.

Hell, the McCain camp wasted no time pointing out that early in 2008 campaign, Biden himself questioned Obama's lace of experience. Those same Republicans have apparently forgotten that back in 1980 George H. W. Bush referred to Reaganomics as "voodoo economics," yet still ended up as Reagan's running mate.

Though the point is now moot, the boldest choice for Obama would have been Chuck Hagel.