Going Googoo

People magazine has reportedly paid $15 million for the first pictures of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's newborn twins.

What the hell!?!?! Has the public lost its collective mind? What is wrong with people? How did our priorities get so thoroughly screwed up? Our world is facing a myriad of economic, ecological and social ills: Global warming, rising oil prices, species extinctions, mass starvation, religious fanaticism, ethnic cleansing, and the frightening possibility that the next leader of the most powerful nation on Earth will be a senile old man. And all we can worry about is what a couple of snot-nosed babies look like!?!?!

Here's a newsflash, folks: They look like every other baby on the freakin' planet! They're bald, they drool, and their diapers are full of smelly poop! In fact, it's a well known scientific fact that the average baby produces five times its body weight in poop every single day.

And yet baby pictures are all our society can worry about in this f*cked up, topsy-turvy world of ours? Jesus H. Freaking Christ!!! This is so ridiculous it makes me ashamed to be a human.

On the other hand, please call me when they have more pictures of Britney not wearing panties.