It's A Wrap....Sort Of

Tom Shales of The Washington Post offers his own take on last night's Sopranos finale. In short, he loved it and praises the abrupt ending as being "unorthodox and arguably ingenious." And arguing about it is exactly what many viewers are doing at USAToday (comments are at the end).

Personally I hated it. I always hate unresolved storylines. Hell, I'm still bitter about the very last Calvin and Hobbs strip. But this also raises anther question: Is there ANY ending that would have left viewers satisfied?

No, probably not. Any final resolution would have left someone pissed off. That said, The Post offered several scenarios for the final scene on Saturday. My favorite:

INTERIOR: Vesuvio's restaurant. Very late. Carmela alone at a table. Artie, the restaurateur, and his wife, Charmaine, hovering.

ARTIE: Carm, what can I say?

CARMELA: I just couldn't go back there tonight. At least they didn't touch the bedroom set. My Frette linen . . .

ARTIE: Bleeping feds, right?

CHARMAINE: Artie, your melanzane! (Artie gestures, "Oh right.") So what will you do now?

CARMELA: I don't know. (Welling up.) So much evil in the world, Charmaine.

CHARMAINE: Who's coming for you?

CARMELA: Ro is taking care of Gaby. She's fallen apart. To watch Sil go like that. They said he had no more esophagus.

CHARMAINE: Meadow --

CARMELA: In Vermont with Patsy, studying for her LSATs. That reminds me. I've got to check on A.J. I don't think the doctors are going to bring him out of it this time.

ARTIE: (from the kitchen) Carm, do you know if they got Paulie, too? (To Charmaine) What? Not the Phil thing -- he got what he deserved. Paulie's still got quite a tab.

CARMELA: I don't think he was implicated. (a pause.) I still can't believe it.

CHARMAINE: It'll take time.

CARMELA: Ade, oh Ade.

CHARMAINE: How did they get him?

CARMELA: Christopher. From beyond the grave. Some notes the police found in that dead screenwriter's apartment. In Christopher's hand. And a dog finds her "skeletal remains." All those months, he lied to me, every time I brought up her name. Ran off, my ass. He killed her. He slept with her and he killed her. I will curse him and curse him and . . .

CUT to INT. of a cell. Camera finds hollow-eyed Tony. Camera pans to a TV set tuned to Ebert-Roeper-type movie-review program. Logo of "Cleaver" appears. Camera back on Tony, as one of the commentators is heard.

COMMENTATOR: It's a splatter classic! They spill blood from orifices I didn't know existed! The movie's a hoot! Randy, I gotta give it a thumbs up, too!

FADE-OUT. Over the credits, Billy Joel's "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant."