*It is a little known fact that Jack Bauer's tears cure cancer. The problem is Jack never cries.
*If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
*If Jack Bauer had been on Oceanic 815 there would no Lost.
*Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Hmmm.... I'm sure that it's only a coincidence that the Jack Bauer list so closely resembles a list of facts about Chuck Norris.
Not that I'm complaining, Jack.