Wednesday, January 18, 2006


So what's next for the United States after Iraq? Iran would certainly seem to be a tempting target. After all, they are restarting their nuclear program and thumbing their noses at world opinion.

Well, okay, we thumbed our noses at world opinion too, but that's besides the point.

But an invasion of Iran would only further inflame the middle east, and we'd have those damn suicide bombers to contend with again.

So how about North Korea? They're evil. They've got an illegal nuke program. Their people are enslaved and would no doubt greet us as liberators just as the citizens of Iraq did. Ah, but Seoul and it's eight million people are only like 27 miles from the border, and would likely get leveled in any outbreak of hostilities.

Russia? They've been getting a little big for their britches lately and probably need to be reminded there's only ONE global superpower now. On the other hand, they already have a whole crapload of nuclear missiles and probably wouldn't hesitate to use them.

I know! Let's invade Canada!!!! They're always sending their cold air masses down into the United States, so those damn Canucks are an obvious threat. Plus, half the country is French, so they'd surrender without a fight. And what's the rest of Canada going to do if hostilities do break out? Unleash a heard of moose in our direction? Cut off their supply of hockey players? Piss in the Molson?

Hey, don't laugh. It turns out we've long had plans to invade our northern neighbors should the need ever arise.

0 thoughtful ramblings: