The government of Malaysia is sending two teams of scientists into its rainforest to search for "Bigfoot." The ten foot tall manlike creature was supposedly sighted next to a river and has caused quite a stir in the nation's media.
If he is found, this would raise serious security questions here in the United States. Afterall, if Bigfoot is so reclusive, he has probably never bothered to get a driver's license. And if he has no license, how was he able to board a flight from Montana to Malaysia? And was he carrying toenail clippers in his carry-on luggage when he did so? Most importantly, if airport screeners can't keep a giant hairy manlike creature--armed with a sharp personal hygiene tool that could easily be turned into a lethal weapon--from sneaking onto an airplane, what assurance do we, the general public, have that they can stop Islamic terrorists from doing the same!?!?!
Damn Bush administration can't do anything right.