Monday, September 20, 2004

Thank God They're Heterosexuals

In what can only be described as a giant leap forward for family values, Britney Spears married her latest husband Saturday evening. The wedding came as something of surprise since it wasn't expected for another month or two. Family members were aghast, industry observers were left stunned, paparazzi were caught offguard, and even the Iraqi insurgency was momentarily disrupted as the news swept the world.

The ceremony took place at approximately 7:30 PM. If the happy couple is still married at 2:30 AM Tuesday, it will be a new record for Miss Spears.

---------------Mike Luckovich, Atlanta Journal Constitution

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