Batter Up!
I've never been much of a baseball fan, and what little I know of the game comes from repeated listenings of Meat Loaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light."

The Washington Senators left DC in 1971 when I was but a wee little lad. Perhaps if they hadn't departed for Texas, and I had grown up with them constantly in the news, I would feel differently about the game.

That said, I'm glad we're finally getting a team again. This city has changed a lot in the last 33 years. The DC metropolitan area is the 8th largest TV market in the nation and the biggest without a MLB team. And if a city like Cincinnati--the 33rd largest market--can have a baseball team, well by gosh, then we deserve one as well!!!!

The team still doesn't have a name, however. The name "Senators," which seems to be the top choice of most DC residents, is still controlled by the Texas Rangers. It's unclear at this point if they would be willing to relinquish control. Other suggested names that have popped up on various radio call in shows are the "Washington Monuments," the "Washington Statesmen," and the "Beltway Bandits." Personally I'd like to see them called the "Washington Money Grabbing Politicians Who Steal Our Hard Earned Money And Go Out And Hire Interns Who Can't Type Worth A Damn But Look Really Good In Kneepads."

Of course, we'd probably need bigger baseball caps.

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---------------Oliphant

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New Warnings for Florida
Astronomers have issued a warning to residents of southern Florida that Asteroid Bertha, currently a category III space rock, is expected to strike the Miami/Dade County area sometime this weekend. Beleaguered residents begin boarding up their windows.

Meanwhile, those living in the Tallahassee area are being warned to keep a wary eye on tropical meteorite Charlene, currently orbiting the Gulf of Mexico but likely to begin moving towards the Florida panhandle.