Collider Test Called Successful

Jubilant scientists have conducted their first successful test of the Large Hadron Collider. Located in the Alps along the Swiss/French border, the 17 mile underground atom smasher is the largest ever built in the world and is expected to replicate conditions at the moment of the Big Bang. Despite concerns by some groups, those behind the LHC project insist that it is perfectly safe.

Meanwhile, rescue crews have begun searching the large hole in the ground that used to be Switzerland and France.