And No Virgins For Them, Either!

A teacher in the nation of Sudan--a predominantly Muslim nation--is guilty of a horrible, almost unimaginable crime against humanity.

Gillian Gibbons bought a teddy bear for her class of six and seven year olds. Then she made the mistake of allowing them to name their little fuzzy mascot. And they name they came up with?

Mohammed.

Yep. They named the little guy after The Prophet himself. For this unforgivable offense Gibbons has been arrested. Her fellow teachers are actually concerned for their colleague's safety, as there are reports that mobs of young men have been gathering outside the police station where she's being held.

But what, exactly, is Gibbons guilty of? All she did was follow the wishes of her students. They're the evil little bastards that chose to commit blasphemy against the founder of their faith!

It's the children that need to be taught a lesson in this case, and sending them to bed without their supper ain't gonna cut it.... Mainly because we're talking about Sudan here, so they're probably lucky to get even one meal a week.

No, the only clear alternative available is to stone the little f*ckers to death. That'll teach 'em a lesson they won't soon forget!