Mommie Dearest

Congratulations to Sherry Ann Allen of Glen Burnie, Maryland, who has put in an early bid to be selected as 2006's Mother of the Year.

What did Ms. Allen do that was so darn special, you ask? Well, she got drunk.... Really REALLY drunk.... So drunk that when her 15 year old daughter Katelynn tried to take away her car keys, Sherry stabbed the teenager in the head with a butcher knife. In a further exhibition of her innovative parenting techniques, Sherry also pulled out most of Katelynn's hair and yanked out an earring.

Police then had the audacity to arrest the mother and charge her with attempted murder, assault, and child abuse.

Give Ms. Allen some credit, though: At least she didn't go off on a drunken anti-Semitic rant when the cops showed up.