Anybody Find A Chest?

Hmmm.... Either that guy on the far right has a pair of really nice legs, or that girl on the far right has one butt ugly face.

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Speed

---------------Aaron, Magruder, Boondocks

After two years of anticipation, I've finally joined the world of high speed internet. My cable company is Adelphia, and as you probably know, it's founders are currently in jail having women point at their genitals. Consequently the company has been a little slow in catching up with the rest the industry.

I almost got it last week, but when the cable guy came out to install it, he found that the ethernet card on my laptop wasn't working properly, in addition to my computer needing more memory. I told him hey, it wasn't easy finding a Commodore 64.

Anyway, a friend of mine took care of the said issues, and I went by the cable office this morning to pick up the self-installation kit. And since I was doing a self-install this time, I had to sign a piece of paper basically saying that if I screw it up, I'll have to pay $50 to have the cable guy come back out here and fix my mistake.

The setup process went smoothly at first until I suddenly hit a dead end with the installation CD. No matter what I tried, it wouldn't finish loading. Being a patient sort of psychopath, I began screaming, cursing, and flailing my arms over my head. And since I wasn't about to shell out another fifty bucks, I was about ready to pack everything back up and take it back when I stumbled across a support phone number. So I called it, and much to my astonishment, I got an English speaking guy who actually knew what he was doing.

After having me check a couple of things on my end (is your modem plugged in, Is the cable connected to the wall, etc.), he found the problem: The person at the local cable office who gave me the self install kit neglected to activate the internet access service. In other words, the problem was on Adelphia's end.

Now in addition to being a patient psychopath, I'm also a paranoid schizophrenic, so I have to wonder if the cable guy had come out, would he have explained that it was their fault, or would he have magically "found" some other problem, fixed that, and then charged me the fifty?

Not that I'm paranoid or anything.... Where are my meds?



P.S.
Speaking of psychopaths, this week marks the 10th anniversary of O.J. Simpson's debut as a rookie homicidal maniac. In honor of this very special occasion, my 1994 "archives"
are now online.