More Damn Illegal Aliens

The United States has recently seen an alarming spike in UFO sitings. The Phoenix area has been one hotbed of activity, and United Airlines pilots have reported seeing a large saucer-like object over Chicago's O'Hare Airport. It remains unclear why there are so many different kinds of UFO's. And in some cases, even similar shaped ones may have differences in the coloring of their lights.

Then again, maybe it's all about how individual aliens pimp their rides.

The reason for the recent increase in reports remains a mystery. Is it a harbinger of an invasion of even more illegal aliens? Could they finally be getting ready to make contact? If so, we best keep Dick Cheney away from the landing site or he may shoot an alien in the face and trigger an interstellar war.

Actually, that might be a good thing. The Klingons might greet us as liberators.

A former Canadian Defense Minister says that maybe the aliens are here to combat global warming. His theory, however, is dependent on the assumption that spacecraft from Alpha Centauri do not use internal combustion engines.

On the other hand, maybe the intergalactic community just wants to see where Anna Nicole finally ended up getting buried....