Well, Sounds Like They Learned Enough

Last year Andrew Jacobs broke into a townhouse in Vienna, Virginia, and attacked two ten year old sisters. There was a brief struggle, but thanks to their recent karate lessons, the girls were able to fend off the intruder long enough for the parents to make it to the bedroom. At that point Mr. Jacobs fled, sporting a bite mark and several bruises.

At first glance it may seem relatively obvious that this guy is some sort of pervert who targets children. Or perhaps he's some sort of petty burglar who's break-in went awry when the family fought back.

If you thought that you would be wrong, for Andrew Jacobs' motives were much more noble and understandable. Indeed, he would be justified in using Tony Soprano's mantra: "I'm a businessman."

You see, Jacobs is--er, was--a karate instructor. He specifically targeted the twins because they had been taking karate lessons from him but then dropped the class. He was hoping that by breaking into their house, tying them up, and stealing a few items, he would convince the parents to sign the girls up for more lessons.

Maybe he should have been a marketing consultant for Enron.