Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Karma Rocks

World renown seismologist Sharon Stone, who once flashed her snatch at moviegoers in Basic Instinct, which gives her all the credentials she needs to explain natural disaster, is blaming the recent earthquake in China on "bad karma."

In other words, because the Chinese government in Beijing is composed of oppressive assholes who ordered the recent crackdown in Tibet, Karma decided to cause an earthquake hundreds of miles away from Beijing, thereby killing almost a hundred thousand innocent peasants, farmers, peasants, and schoolchildren who had absolutely nothing wrong to do with it.

Apparently Karma just has some lousy ass aim.

Stone's explanation of the cause of the earthquake will no doubt shake up the staid scientific community, whose members' qualifications consist of mere PhD's, and most of whom have never exposed their most intimate private parts to billions of people. It's also a relief to learn that fault lines, plate tectonics, and subduction zones had nothing to do with the earthquake.

What's next? A Britney Spears website devoted to semiconductor physics?

0 thoughtful ramblings: