The Trouble with Interpreting God's Will

There's an old man who lives by himself in a farmhouse. One day a policeman shows up at his door and says, "Sir, there's a big flood coming, and we're evacuating the area. You'll have to grab what you can carry and leave."

The old man says, "I'm not going. The good lord will save me."

The officer shakes his head and leaves.

Sure enough, the water from a nearby river begins to rise. Soon it has filled the entire first story of the house and forced the old man to flee to the second floor. A fireman comes by in a boat. He rows right up to the window where the old man is sitting and says, "Get in the boat and I'll take you to dry land!"

The old man shakes his head and says, "That won't be necessary. The good lord will save me."

The fireman shrugs and leaves. Still, the waters keep rising. Soon the old man is forced to climb onto the roof.

A helicopter flies by, sees the old man, and lowers a man on a cable. "Sir!" he says. "Strap this safety harness around your waist and we'll hoist you up to safety!"

The old man waves him off and says, "The good lord will save me."

So the helicopter leaves. But still the waters continue to rise. Soon, the old man is forced to stand on his tiptoes. The water is now up to his chin, and it is becoming painfully obvious that he will soon drown.

The old man summons what little strength he has left and cries out to the heavens, "Lord! Why have you not saved me?!?"

Suddenly a booming voice echoes down from on high and says, "I sent you a cop, a boat, and a helicopter! What the hell else do you want?"