Monday, September 05, 2005

A Religious Experience

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. What majestic trees, he thought to himself. What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!

Then suddenly he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7 foot tall grizzly charging towards him.

The atheist ran as fast as he could along the riverbank. He looked over his shoulder and could see the bear quickly closing in on him. Looking over his shoulder a second time he could see the bear was now even closer. Then the atheist tripped and fell to the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was now practically on top of him, preparing to slice into him with his razor sharp claws.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, "OH MY GOD!!!!"

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest suddenly grew silent.

Even the powerful river stopped flowing.

Suddenly a bright light shone down upon the man, and a booming voice echoed down from the sky: "You have repeatedly denied my existence for all of these years. You continue to insist to others that I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Now, at the moment of your death, you suddenly expect me to drop everything and help you out of this predicament?" The voice paused. "Am I to finally count you as a believer?"

The now humbled atheist looked directly into the light, "Well, I suppose it would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"

After pondering the request for a moment, the voice finally said, "Very well. So shall it be done."

The light went out.

The forest grew noisy again.

The river resumed flowing.

Even time itself resumed.

And then the bear stopped his surely fatal swing at the atheist, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

-----Received via email.

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