Pass The Jesus Juice

I can't believe Michael Jackson got off on all charges.... Which is somewhat ironic, since getting off is what got him in trouble in the first place.

Jackson has posted a letter on his website thanking his fans, and comparing his acquittal to the fall of the Berlin Wall and the release of Nelson Mandela from prison.

Now there are those who may consider such an analogy rather presumptuous, but I have to agree with the Noseless One on this. Jackson's acquittal--and vindication of his behavior--is nothing short of a huge step forward for the rights of pedophiles throughout this great country of ours. They have been forced to live in shame for too long, hanging out near playgrounds and school bus stops in their trenchcoats, averting their gaze whenever a parent eyed them suspiciously. Maybe now practioners of pedophilia can finally step out of the shadows and go cruising for kids at the local Chuck E. Cheese without fear of what narrow-minded bigots who prefer the intimate company of--GASP-- other adults may think!

At any rate, I've decided that if I ever go on trial for anything--again, that is--it will be in California.... Because no matter how serious the charges, or how overwhelming the evidence, no jury there will ever convict you of anything.