Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Remember To Duck When The Time Comes

Earlier today NASA launched a spacecraft know as "Deep Impact.' It's goal is to rendezvous with the comet Tempel 1 next summer. It will then study the comet in a rather unique fashion: By launching an 820 pound probe and smash it into the surface of Tempel 1 at 23,000 miles an hour.

WHOA!!!! Are we absolutely sure this is something we want to be doing? Is it wise to go around the solar system pissing off large celestial objects that may just decide that enough is enough, and it's time to get even with mankind? I mean, we already know that it was a large meteorite that took out the dinosaurs, right? Can we be certain that it was an accident, or did some curious brontosaurus launch a probe to go crash into a comet to see what it's made off?

I don't mean to sound like a luddite, but I think we humans should stick to killing each other without inviting help from our heavenly neighbors.


Half Price
A German tourist went to a doctor while vacationing in Costa Rica because his leg had become swollen. Expecting to be given an aspirin, the man instead instead ended up in a hospital where he was given drugs to knock him out.

When he awoke three days later, he found himself in an airport departure lounge. The man's luggage was next to him, but a further inventory of his belongings revealed that his leg had been amputated. His wallet had been cleaned out and the cash replaced with a receipt for the operation.

This incident serves to further demonstrate that medical care in the United States is vastly overpriced. If this incident had happened, say, in New York, he would have been charged an ARM as well as a leg.


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