Bad Moon Rising

The National Football League has fined Minnesota Vikings receiver Randy Moss $10,000. The penalty is for an incident last Sunday in which Moss pretended to drop his pants and 'moon' the fans in Green Bay.

Well, thank God the NFL has put its foot down. There is no room for such vulgar displays on national TV when children are watching. Besides, Mr. Moss is an adult. As such, he needs to learn to control such petty and immature impulses.

Instead of resorting to such disgusting displays, he should have done what any self-respecting professional athlete would have done: Gone up into the stands and kicked someone's ass.

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Frostbite Alert
The unrelenting ferocity of this year's winter continues to brutalize the DC area. Many residents, unaccustomed to such extreme weather, are desperately trying to escape the harsh conditions only to find that the airports are already clogged with democrats fleeing to Canada. To give you an idea of how bad it is, it was 65 degrees (18 celsius) at noon today, and it's expected to top 70 before all is said and done; meanwhile, rumors continue to circulate that republican senators have been rounding up democrats, stripping them naked, and dragging them around the Capitol with a leash.

I take comfort in the fact that sooner or later, spring will arrive. In the meantime I have decided to cope with the vagaries of Mother Nature by going to Wal-Mart and stocking up on some more winter clothes.

I'm thinking Bermuda shorts and a pair of flip-flops.