Thursday, August 12, 2004

Pass the Quackers
In a stunning development, the governor of New Jersey has resigned after announcing he is gay. It wasn't that in and of itself that led to his decision, but rather a pending harassment lawsuit and the fact that he "engaged in adult consensual affairs with another man, which violates my bonds of matrimony."

I fail to see how that's the case. After all, when a man gets married he vows to forsake all other women. But his affair was with a man, so what's the big deal? Technically speaking, he did not violate his marital vows.

It's like that Jack Ryan guy in Illinois who withdrew from the senate race because of a sex scandal. But really, what was the sex scandal? No one accused him of having a relationship with another woman--or another man, for that matter. The sole accusation against him was that he wanted to have sex with his wife! And isn't that exactly what a loving marriage is all about, the devotion between two adults to one another?

Granted, he wanted to have that sex with his wife while in a steel cage suspended over an audience of several hundred onlookers, but still, it was sex with his wife.

Geez.... All this talk about sex has gotten me all horny.

Where's my duck?


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---------------Joe Heller, Green Bay Press-Gazette


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