Friday, August 13, 2004

Fire Up the Grill
TV cooking show host Julia Childs has died at the age of 91.

No word yet on whether the family will have her buried, cremated, or sauteed.


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---------------Wiley, Non Sequitor


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Blowjobs
Florida has suffered a meteorological double whammy over the last two days. Yesterday the state's northwestern panhandle was hit by Tropical Storm Bonnie. And while that storm may have been milder than initially feared, Hurricane Charley has proven itself to be far more serious than expected.

This morning dawned with the storm at a category 2 level, and some forecasters said it might strengthen to a category 3. Instead Charley flipped everyone off and went straight to category 4 status without passing go, and without collecting $200. This has raised two immediate questions: 1) Will damage be more than or less than $20 billion, and 2) How many of the idiots who decided to ignore the evacuation orders by staying behind and throwing a hurricane party died?

And while it's still too early to tell for sure, it is feared that the two storms have done serious damage to Florida's prized hanging chad crop. It is not immediately clear what effect, if any, a reduced harvest will have on this November's Presidential election.


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---------------Boondocks, Aaron Magruder



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