Even though it's been six weeks since the infamous "Janet Jackson Incident" at the Super Bowl, her breast continues to jiggle its merry way across the American landscape, leaving death, destruction, and fines in its wake. At one point, a woman in Knoxville had gone as far as to file a multi-billion dollar lawsuit against CBS. Her take on the matter was that since CBS was broadcasting the game worldwide, it had adversely affected the "standing and credibility" of the United States in the international community.
Then someone explained to her that, thanks to Iraq, the US has no more standing or credibility, and she was forced to drop the suit.
The Federal Communications Commission has launched a major crackdown on violators of broadcast standards for obscenity, and broadcasters are scrambling to deal with the increased scrutiney.
As a direct consequence of Miss Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction," most actual "live" TV is probably a thing of the past. In the past month, both the Grammy Awards and the Oscars have instituted a five second delay. And Good Morning America, scheduled to have the overexposed Diva's entire body on the show later this month, is also going with a tape delay in case host Charles Gibson tries to a gander at the goods first hand.
Congress itself has not been immune to the hysteria, as the Senate recently held hearings during which the leaders of several media outlets were grilled. Even the notorious Howard Stern's syndicated radio show was dumped from six Viacom stations.
But as is the norm, all this concern by the government over what is decent is not without some hypocrisy. Take, for example, the official flag of the Commonwealth of Virginia. It is a noble symbol, certainly worthy of the state that gave us George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. The flag features the Roman goddess Virtus, standing triumphant over the prone body of some nameless tyrant.
Unfortunately, Miss Virtus must have had a tough battle on her hands, for she is looking somewhat disheveled and--most disturbingly--her left tit is hanging out for all the world to see.
Perhaps her toga experienced a wardrobe malfunction.
