Whip It, Whip it Good

He's no Iron Man, but Indiana Jones still knows how to throw one hell of a party. And that's saying a lot, since I really didn't have any high expectations for the new movie. That said, it was a blast.... Especially the part where Indy survives a nuclear blast by hiding in a refrigerator and having it hurled miles across a desert. Just don't try to calculate the G-forces involved, and you'll enjoy.

There is some sort of plot involving a skull with supernatural powers. It was found by another archaeologist, so it falls to Jones to return it to some lost city in Central America. Along the way he has to evade overly zealous FBI agents, evil Russkies, a rival archeologist, quicksand, man-eating ants, waterfalls, spooky cemeteries, hostile natives in loincloths, poison darts, cliffs, woods, and an ex-girlfriend. Oh, and then E.T. shows up at the end.

Quite frankly, the plot is a little confusing. But that's fine, because we're talking about Indiana Jones. What passes as a plot merely serves as a necessary narrative tool to tie the various chase sequences together. And what sequences they are! There's one inside a large warehouse (look for the Ark of the Covenant to make a brief cameo), another across a college campus, and a particularly wild one through a jungle. Then there's an especially fun ride on a river.

Finally, there's the soundtrack. John Williams wrote the music, and it works beautifully with whatever is happening on the screen. Come to think of it, would any of George Lucas' or Steven Spielberg's movies been half as much fun without Williams controlling the baton? Think of any of the Star Wars or previous Indiana Jones films, and try to imagine them without the music. The same goes for Jaws and Close Encounters. Brilliant as they may be as filmmakers, both Lucas and Spielberg owe a great deal of their success to Williams. Hell, even Schindler's List would have been uplifting if only he had written the score.

My only complaint: When the hell did matinées start costing $7.75?!?! What the hell is that about? Do the projectors run on gasoline or something? And don't even get me started on the small popcorn and small soda that came to an even ten bucks! Again, what's the justification for that? Do theaters use gasoline powered popcorn poppers or something? Can't they get a hybrid popper? Or better yet, a solar powered one?

Congress needs to stop interrogating oil company executives and instead investigate the damn movie theater owners.