Stopping Illegal Immigration

President Bush is speaking tonight and is expected to say that we do not have full control of our borders. Controlling our southern border and stemming the tide of illegal immigration is important, especially since so many of the 9-11 hijackers were Mexicans.

As part of the effort to secure the border, Bush is expected to announce that he will send in the National Guard to assist border patrol agents.... Assuming, of course, that he can find any troops that haven't already been deployed to Iraq.

Ultimately though, all this talk about stopping the flow of illegal aliens is futile. Deploying more manpower is not likely to help since there's a 2000 mile border with Mexico. Those seeking to enter the U.S. will simply find an unprotected spot and cross there.

And that plan about building a massive wall along the border? It's stupid. First of all, has anyone stopped to think how much a 2000 mile long wall would cost? It has to be astronomical. Looking at it another way, 2000 miles is almost 10% of the Earth's circumference. Does anyone seriously think we can do that? Hell, we can't even build a simple dirt wall to protect a city from the ocean, and we're supposed to build one across the entire freakin' continent!?!? And how long would it be before the Mexicans figure they can lean a ladder against the thing and climb over it? Then we'll need to hire Border Patrol agents to guard the wall that's protecting us, and we'll be right back to square one.

And even if we do build the stupid thing, who do you think is going to perform the actual manual labor? Ultimately it's going to be subcontractors using--yes--undocumented workers!!!? And anyone who doesn't think that's how it's going to work needs to get their head out of their butt.

But don't despair, America, for I have come up with the perfect solution to solving the problem of illegal aliens: We invade Mexico, annex the entire country, and VOILA!!!! All the Mexicans will automatically become American citizens!!!

I don't call myself a genius for nothing.