Maybe They Could Apply Foam To The Thing

Scientists have known for a while now that a large asteroid will pass within 25,000 of Earth on April 13, 2029 (I've thoughtfully provided a countdown clock at the bottom of the lefthand column). While close, it's still a miss.

However, further analysis has now alarmed the people who are paid to be alarmed by this kind of stuff. The concern is that the asteroid will pass through a "gravitational sweet spot" which will significantly change the space rock's orbit. Should that happen, the asteroid would smash into the Earth a mere seven years later, possibly leading to the collapse of civilization and perhaps even the extinction of man.

It is unclear what effect this would have on the current housing bubble.

Consequently NASA scientists have begun studying the feasibility of somehow "nudging" the intruder into a different orbit.

Who are they kidding!?!?! Did you see the look on the faces of the mission controllers when Discovery touched down yesterday? They appeared to be genuinely surprised the crew got back in one piece!! I have nothing but respect for the folks at NASA, but if it's going to be up to them to save the world, we're royally f*cked.