One of the wonderful things about such horrible congestion is that it really doesn't take much to bring entire highways to a halt. It's not unusual to encounter a two mile backup simply because someone is changing a tire on the OTHER side of the highway.
This morning's mess, however, became the stuff of legend. Shortly before 4 A.M. a tanker truck loaded with 8000 gallons of fuel went over a guardrail and exploded. Fortunately, this did not happen out in the middle of the boondocks where such a spectacular event would have been wasted on the cows. No, this happened about a mile outside DC and within a half mile or so of the Pentagon (Thereby causing a brief sense of panic among nearby residents who feared another 9/11). Interstate 395, which is the principle route into the city from Virginia, ended up being closed in both directions for much of the morning rush hour. To make thing even more interesting, the burning fuel also got into the storm drains and sewers.
There was no immediate word on what effect this would have on the alligators that live down there.
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And Wash Your Hands Afterwards
Lovers of great literature will be pleased to learn that Courtney Love is planning a tell-all book in which she plans to name names. It is not immediately clear if those will be the names of the men she's been with, or the names of the various viruses she's encountered. Either way, it should be a really thick book.
The first 1,000 thousand buyers will receive a complementary biohazard suit.
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