Friday, December 24, 2004

The Meaning of Christmas

The nice thing about having Christmas fall on a Saturday is that it buys you a whole additional week to procrastinate. But alas, time is almost up, so I suppose I should get my Christmas cards done.

Now many of you are saying, "But Lugosi, tomorrow is Christmas Day and the post offices are closed. And the 26th is a Sunday, so again, the post offices are closed. There's no possible way anyone will your card till the 28th at the absolute earliest. What do you have to say for yourself?"

What do I have to say for myself!?! Hey, I'm not the one talking to my computer, pal.

Once you get past the mental health aspects of it, my system makes perfect sense. Over the last several weeks I've been setting aside all the cards I've gotten. Tonight I'll simply take them and compile my Christmas card list using the return addresses from the envelopes. That way I don't waste time sending a card to anyone who wasn't considerate enough to send me theirs on time.

Pretty good system, eh?



And then tomorrow I'll do my Christmas shopping. "But Lugosi," I hear some of you saying. "Tomorrow is Christmas Day. The stores are all closed. There's no way you can do your shopping."

Let me first say that you're really starting to creep me out with that constant talking to yourselves. Please go see a responsible mental health professional for some help. But beyond that, all the stores are NOT closed. 7-11 is open!

Yes, it's true. I do my Christmas shopping at a convenience store. Perhaps a bit odd by societal standards, but certainly not as weird as trying to converse with me through a computer screen. And if you think about it, Christmas shopping at 7-11 actually makes a lot of sense. Not only can I buy my presents and wrapping paper, but I can also fill up on gas and eat breakfast, all at the same time!

The only drawback is getting the scotch tape to stick when I wrap those frozen burritos.



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