Tuesday, October 28, 2003

For too many years we celebrity stalkers have been discriminated against by the rest of society. Subjected to relentless arrests, restraining orders, and accusations of "having no life," our existence has been a lonely one as we cover our walls and ceilings with pictures of the subjects of our unnatural fixations. And climbing a stepladder with thumbtacks in one hand and a stack of mutilated magazine covers in the other while our pants are down around our ankles is never easy.
So it is with great inspiration that we all turn to Masahiko Shizawa, a Japanese businessman turned Britney Spears stalker who finally decided to put his foot down and say "ENOUGH!!!" Repeatedly ordered by the courts to stay away from the singer, Mr. Shizawa was parked on a public street across from Miss Spears' home when her armed security goons ordered him to leave the area.
Now Mr. Shizawa is suing for "emotional distress" caused by the incident.
Truly, this man is an inspiration to emotionally disturbed individuals everywhere!

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