Why Not Burn Witches During The Seventh Inning Stretch?

Alert members of the New York Yankees baseball organization recently learned of a terrorist plot targeting their new stadium. Acting swiftly, they managed to foil it.

So what was this horrible plan directed against American baseball's best known team? No, it wasn't a truck bomb in the parking lot or some crazy Al Qaeda dude in a suicide vest. This was actually something far more sinister.

It seems a construction worker, in a brazen attempt to jinx the Yankees, buried a Boston Red Sox team jersey in the new stadium. Team officials learned of the rogue bricklayer's plan and took swift action to break the curse before it could even begin. They spent five hours jackhammering through solid concrete to get to the evil shirt and remove it from the corridor in which it had been embedded.

In an effort to insure that the new facility was free of any lingering evil spirits, team augurs afterwards read the entrails of goats while a witch doctor sacrificed virgins on the pitchers' mound.