WILMA!

A new study based on the teachings of satanic blasphemers (also known as "scientists") suggests that cosmic rays caused by the birth of far away stars billions of years ago had a hand in the creation of life here on Earth. The theory is based on the careful study of carbon deposits in ocean sediments.

This is an obvious backdoor attempt to teach that evil theory of evolution, first proposed by Charles Darwin, a known spawn of Satan himself. Just because evolution is also supported by paleaontology, geology, continental drift, previous known climatic changes, uncovered evidence of asteroid impacts, the fossil record, and recent studies of mitochondrial DNA doesn't necessarily mean there's any merit to the idea. It could all just be a wild coincidence! Most importantly, no where in the Book of Genesis does it say anything about Adam and Eve being monkeys!

Besides, there's a museum in Kentucky that says the Earth is only 6,000 years old. This museum also proves that man roamed the Earth at the same time as dinosaurs, as demonstrated in the highly educational documentary series "The Flintstones."