My Morning Adventure

I left home a little after 9 this morning to do some errands. As I was driving down Rte 29 a few miles outside of Warrenton I glanced in my side mirror and saw a car in the left lane drift onto the median strip. The driver recovered but continued to weave a bit. People like that tend to make me nervous, so I slowed up to let the car pass me. As it went by me, I could see that the driver was a middle aged woman.

About a minute later she drifted into the right lane, forcing a white Dish Network van onto the shoulder. The rest of the way to Gainesville (another ten miles or so) it was the lady, the van and myself. Although the van blocked my view most of the time, I was still able to see the car drifting between the lanes, even ending up on the shoulders a few times. Though it was still early in the day, it was pretty obvious this lady was drunk.

We all stopped at a red light in Gainesville. When the signal turned green, everyone started moving. Well, almost everyone. The woman just kept sitting there as traffic was flying by in the other lane. Meanwhile I was nervously watching the mirror as trucks kept popping over the hill behind me. After about a minute of this, she finally started moving, as did the van and myself. I was tempted to change lanes so I could get the license plate and call the cops. But more importantly, I also didn't want to end up beside her and risk getting hit, so I maintained my position. Besides, I was thinking that Dish Network guy had already called the police himself.

Now we were approaching the McDonald's where I usually get breakfast and I was faced with an important choice: Do I keep following this crazy drunk chick, or do I stop for my usual sausage egg & cheese biscuit?

I decided to hold off on breakfast for a while.... And anyone who knows me will tell you it takes a lot to make me do something so drastic.

A few minutes later we passed under interstate 66, and at the next intersection the van driver decided to give up the chase and make a u-turn. Now the lady was directly in front of me, so I called Prince William County police with the tag number and the description (dark green Pontiac Grand Am). She continued her erratic driving, weaving and occasionally drifting off the road onto the grassy shoulder.

Then things got interesting. Rte 29 becomes two lanes as it passes through the Manassas Battlefield Park, thereby reducing this woman's margin of error. And sure enough, she occasionally wandered halfway across the double yellow lines. It was only by the grace of God that there was never any immediate oncoming traffic when she did so.

As we neared the Fairfax County line I called their police. Again, I gave the dispatcher the description of the car and how it had been driving for the last 15 miles. While I was on the phone, she actually drove off the road entirely (all four wheels) onto a grassy embankment. Yet she still managed to maintain control and get back on the road. Then I saw a dump truck just up ahead, and the lady barely avoided plowing into the back of it.

By now we were back on a four lane section of 29. As we approached I-66 (29 and 66 crisscross each other five times in northern Virginia) she got in the left turn lane and appeared ready to get on the east bound interstate. This time I hit #77 and got the state police on the line. But when we got the green arrow, drunk chick instead made a u-turn and started heading back the direction we had just come from. And having already sacrificed my breakfast, and with nothing else to lose, I stayed with her. As I made the turn, I saw a beat up looking pickup truck belonging to some tree service also make the turn behind me.

The woman did briefly stop at the next light. As the pickup pulled along side me, I could see two guys in it, one of whom was also on the phone. But then the Grand Am lady apparently decided she didn't want to wait any more and she went through the light. Fortunately there was no cross traffic, and she again avoided hitting anything or anyone.

When the light turned green I let the pickup get ahead of me, and by now I was back on the phone with Prince William County since we were headed in that direction.

Soon we were back on the two lane section of 29, and now things really got scary. Going up a hill the woman drifted entirely into the other lane just as a car topped the hill. That car went for the shoulder, and the Grand Am drifted back into the correct lane.

As our little caravan approached the intersection with route 234, the light was red. As the woman stopped the tree service guys cut into the left turn lane to get around her, then cut back in and stopped at an angle. I pulled right up onto her bumper. I was still on the phone with the cops at this point and began yelling, "We got her boxed in! We got her boxed in!"

Yeah, I felt like a moron. Thanks for asking.

So I got out my car and the tree service guys got out of their truck. Surprisingly the woman had rolled her window down and handed the keys over when the pickup's driver demanded them. I passed this information onto the police along with our exact location and finally ended the call.

After about five minutes an officer showed up, quickly followed by a second. They questioned her, administered the ol' breathalyzer test, and guess what?

She wasn't intoxicated!!!

They did determine, however, that the driver was completely disoriented. She didn't know where she was or even how she had gotten there. The woman claimed to have no recollection of even driving the car, and just kept asking where she was. The police were eventually to find out from her that she's hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) and that she takes medicine for it. She had apparently been on her to the drug store to pickup a prescription refill. The woman lived in a little town called Bealeton, which is ten miles on the other side of Warrenton from where I first encountered her, or some 30 miles from where she finally ended up.

The police told us that since she wasn't intoxicated, it would treated as a "medical emergency" rather than a crime. At the same time, however, they weren't going to let her go either, since she was obviously in no shape to be behind the wheel.

The tree service guys (never did get either of their names) and I left just as the rescue squad and a firetruck were pulling up. Presumably she ended up being taken to the hospital, but I don't know for sure.

Oh, and for those of you who might be wondering: I finally did get a chance to eat breakfast.