Sunday, December 21, 2008

Not That There's Anything Wrong with That...

It has been established that global warming is causing the extinction of more and more species. Wildlife experts, with fewer and fewer animals to study, are apparently finding themselves with a LOT more time on their hands.

Evidence of this disturbing rise in spare time among such experts can be found in a recent debate that has come to light: They are arguing over whether Santa's reindeer are male or female.

Alice Blue-McLendon, a veterinary medicine professor at Texas A & M University, argues that they are female. She bases this on the the fact that the reindeer are usually depicted with antlers as they launch into the skies on their annual journey. Male reindeer typically lose their antlers during the winter while females keep them year-round.

However, Greg Finstad of the University of Alaska Fairbanks says that the animals are actually castrated males. Such steers keep their antlers through the winter and only shed them in the spring.

This argument is, even at its best, stupid. The well known Rankin-Bass documentary that chronicles the early life and times of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer clearly establishes that he was fathered by Donner, one of Santa's eight reindeer. And Rudolph's mother? She was a stay at home mom who doted on her son with the oddly glowing snozz.

That said, the documentary did also raise disturbing questions about the nature of the relationship between Rudolph and his dentist.

0 thoughtful ramblings: