Gender Differences

A new survey shows that less than half of Americans would be willing to vote for a woman President. The poll did not go into specifics as to why, but it's probably because we males are perceived as being much more decisive and likely to think through the consequences of our actions.

Personally I would have to agree with that. After all, a female President might do something stupid and impulsive, like invade a country without first coming up with a viable plan for occupying it.

Fries With That Golden Anniversary?

Today marks the 50th aniversary of the opening of the very first McDonald's restaurant.

Coincidentally, tomorrow marks the 50the anniversary of the very first heart bypass operation.

One Flu Over The Cuckoo's Nest

One thing I hate about ordering things through the mail is shipping mistakes. At least if you're physically in a store, you can see what you're buying. You can even touch it, sample it, try it on, and so forth. And when you go to the cash register, you know precisely what you're getting.

But when you order something through the mail (or from the internet), you are trusting someone to not grab the wrong item off the shelf and screw up your order.

For example, one time I ordered a blue shirt from some catalog, but what arrived in the mail was a green one. Pissed me off royally, since I hate green. Another time I ordered some inkjet cartridges and Office Depot sent the wrong dang model number.

And most recently I ordered a pair of size 12 EEE brown shoes from the J.C. Penney catalog and what shows up on my doorstep? Several dozen vials of a deadly flu virus from 1957.

Stuff like that just irritates me to no end.

Stranger At The Door

Yesterday a Chinese man carrying two suitcases showed up at the United States Capitol and demanded to speak to President Bush. This was odd in and of itself, since Bush has enough problems with the English language.

Police officers, fearing the man may have been carrying explosives, held him at bay and attempted to negotiate. Eventually, a SWAT team crept up behind the stranger and tackled him. The suitcases were later determined to be harmless.

Does Tom DeLay Have Rabies?

My faith in my fellow Americans--deeply shaken when they reelected George W. Bush--has been partially restored. A new survey shows that a whopping 76% of the public disapproves of the way Congress intervened in the Terri Shiavo case, while slightly more than half disapprove of Bush's handling of the matter. I'm not sure how you can separate the two; After all, the President made a big production of flying back to DC so he could sign the bill in the middle of the night--but I'll take what I can get.

The survey also shows that 55% of Americans now agree with what I've been saying for a while: Republicans, which used to stand for limiting the role of government, are now trying to use the federal government to interfere with the private lives of most Americans. Well, okay, maybe they didn't specifically say that they agreed with that Lugosi guy, but at least we share the same sentiments.

Slowly but surely, people are coming to the realization that the Christian Taliban has taken over the party of Ronald Reagan. And what disgusts me is that this new generation of Republicans continues to invoke the late President's name even as they kick in our bedroom doors to make sure we're not doing anything more exotic than the standard missionary position.... And only then only if it's with our spouses.... Spouses of the opposite sex, of course.

One of the Republicans I'm most disappointed in is Senate Majority leader Bill Frist. Prior to getting into politics he was a respected heart surgeon in Tennessee. Apparently he's one hell of a doctor, because he was able to view a two minute video clip of Schiavo and announce that the woman was NOT in a vegetative state. Obviously the 50 neurologists that examined the woman in person over the years were all wrong. Thank God we had Frist on the case. I'm sure he was only thinking of Terri's best interests and NOT his probable presidential bid in 2008 which will likely draw heavily on the support of the self-righteous religious zealots who are to save us heathens.

One Republican I'm not disappointed in, however, is House Majority Leader Tom DeLay. The man is nothing more than an opportunistic, headline-grabbing slimebag. And if you have no expectations of someone to begin with, they can't disappoint you.
Still, you have to admire Tom's persistence. Even though the polls clearly show that the public soundly disagrees with Congress' involvement in the Schiavo case, he's not yet prepared to shut his yap. In fact, shortly after her death was announced last week, DeLay came out with one helluva sound bite: "The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior." Of course, he later denied that this was in any way intended as a threat against the various judges who reviewed the case.

No, of course not. Why would anyone get that impression?

And what about the time 17 years ago when DeLay allowed doctors to "pull the plug" on his own seriously injured father? Is Tom going to have to answer himself for his own behavior on that one?

More likely his apparent threatening non-threat was a desperate bid to divert attention from his assortment of alleged ethics violations. Either that, or an outburst brought on by rabies. Actually, if he does turn out to be rabid, that would explain a lot.

What's wildly amusing is that the Republicans are blaming Sciavo's death on liberal activist judges. This ignores the minor detail that it's not the judges who were activist in this matter; after all, they did nothing. In other words, if they're guilty of anything, it's of being inactivist judges. It's the concise that was "activist" in this case, venturing into something that should have remained the most private of family matters.

What's more, many of the judges who reviewed the Schiavo case were conservatives to begin with. Judge Stanley Birch of the 11th circuit court of appeals, who wrote the opinion blasting the resolution passed by Congress, was appointed to the bench by the first President Bush in 1990. Also on the 11th Circuit is William H. Pryor, temporarily appointed to there by George W. himself. He had ample opportunity to disagree with his colleagues but didn't. And it was Justice Anthony Kennedy, a Reagan appointee, who rejected the appeals to the Supreme Court.

So much for the evil liberal judges theory.

Still, perhaps the Republicans were motivated by nothing more than Terri Schiavo's best interests, and critics are simply misinterpreting that as political opportunism. A plausible theory? Perhaps, except that right at the height of the Schiavo hysteria a talking points memo that was being circulated among GOP legislators surfaced. It specifically talked about how to best gain political capital among the religious right by talking about the case. But then a number of conservative bloggers began to say that the origins of the memo were suspicious, and that it was actually forged by Democrats out to make the Republicans look bad.

As it turns out, the Republicans don't need any help from their opponents to look like opportunistic bastards. It seems that the origins of the mysterious memo were finally traced to the offices of a freshman Republican senator from Florida, Mel Martinez.

I'm sure all those conservative bloggers are now tripping over one another trying to issue retractions.

Remember what Ron Reagan Jr. said during the eulogy for his father last year? "Dad was also a deeply, unabashedly religious man. But he never made the fatal mistake of so many politicians; wearing his faith on his sleeve to gain political advantage. True, after he was shot and nearly killed early in his presidency he came to believe that God had spared him in order that he might do good. But he accepted that as a responsibility, not a mandate, and there is a profound difference."

Too bad they don't make Republicans like that any more.

Requiem For A Pope

The world is mourning the passing of Pope John Paul II, who reigned for a remarkable 26 years. His long papacy came on the heels of John Paul I, who lasted barely a month. In fact one reason the relatively young and vigorous Karol Wojtyla was selected in 1978 was that many of the Cardinals had barely finished unpacking after returning home, only to have to turn around and go back to Rome again. They didn't want to have to do it a third time.

So the outpouring of affection for John Paul II is understandable. Indeed, for anyone much under the age of 40, he is simply the only Pope they remember.

One of the most remarkable things I've heard about him over the last several days was something he did at the conclusion of World War II. Many Jewish children had been orphaned during the course of that conflict, and they had been taken in by the Catholic church. As a young priest, he actually pushed to have them returned to Jews so that they could be raised Jewish, rather than Catholic. It is refreshing to hear something like that, when you consider that so many religious fanatics these days insist that their way is the ONLY way and everyone else is going to hell.

But one thing I do have to wonder about are all the people praying for him and his soul. Is that really necessary? I mean, he was the Pope, for crying out loud! If he needs help getting into heaven, what the hell hope is there for the rest of us?

The Times, They Are A-Changin'

If you live in the United States, you may need to move your clocks up by an hour. Last night marked the beginning of daylight savings time in most parts of the country. For those of you not familiar with why we do this, it's to give farmers an extra hour of daylight to work so that they may plant their fields, and harvest their crops.

It is important to accomodate them in an agrarian based society such as ours.

The Internet And Theology

I was contemplating writing something about the Pope dying on April Fool's day, but I concluded that it would be in horrible taste. Even on the web, no one could possibly sink that low.... Or so I thought.

My only question now is perhaps one of nuance: I didn't actually write the joke; I only linked to it. Does that mean I'm still condemned to the fiery depths of hell or am I off the hook on this?

And So It Ends

Finally, she is at peace.

Schiavo Update

Earlier today Terry Schiavo's parents lost another legal appeal with a federal appeals court in Atlanta. This time, however, one of the justices made a point of commenting that last week's attempt by congress and President Bush to circumvent the state courts of Florida was unconstitutional and "demonstrably at odds with our Founding Fathers' blueprint for the governance of a free people."

Meanwhile, recent polls show that as much as 82% of Americans think it was a mistake for Congress to go poking its nose into what should have remained a private family matter. Perhaps even more surprising, 62% of evangelical Christians feel the same way.

Of course, the poll numbers aren't stopping the wackos that continue to protest outside the hospice in Florida. They have been growing increasingly frustrated and angry, and the situation is now detoriating to the point of death threats. Yeah, that makes sense. What better way to demonstrate your love for the sanctity of life than by killing someone.

A number of protesters have been arrested for trespassing when they tried to enter the building with glasses of water to quench Terri's thirst. And what, exactly, were they hoping to accomplish if they actually made it inside and to her room? Pour it down her throat? She can't drink water. She's beyond unconscious, with zero brain activity. She would only end up drowning, and her would-be savior would end up being charged with second degree murder, first degree stupidity, and third degree irony.

But the best story has to be the one about Michael Mitchell, who drove down all the way from Illinois hoping to "liberate" Schiavo by kidnapping her from the hospice. Unfortunately, he tried to rob a gun store using a box cutter. That in and of itself is a bad idea, since gun store owners tend to have access to, um, guns. Mitchell fled out the back door when the gun store owner unexpectedly pulled out a... GUN. Mitchell was later arrested.

It wouldn't surprise me if he also turns out to be a creationist.

By the way.... A lot has been written about Terri Schiavo and how she has spent the last 15 years in a vegetative state, unconscious and oblivious to her surroundings. But prior to that she was a vibrant human being much like you and me, and the Washington Post has done a nice piece on what that person was like.

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A Final Rhyme
One Last Time
If there's a tumor in his head,
he's gonna be dead.

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It's All Relative
Scientists in China are going to tag the country's remaining giant pandas. This will enable biologists to better track the animals' movements and prevent inbreeding.

Hmmm.... Prevent inbreeding? Maybe someone should tag the people of West Virginia.

Hypocrisy Alert

One of the principle architects of last week's extraordinary decision by congress to get involved in the Terry Schiavo case was House majority leader Tom Delay. It's no secret that poor ol' Tom has found himself at the center of a number of ethics related controversies over the past several months, and some of his critics have suggested that his sudden interest in Schiavo's welfare was nothing more than an effort to divert attention from those problems.

Why, that's just horrible! How can people be so cynical!?!? Mr. Delay's motives in defending Terry Schiavo's right to live are rooted in his strong religious convictions, and his firm belief that people are entitled to live regardless of the severity or hopelessness of their medical condition. Delay has even denounced the pulling of Schiavo's feeding tube as "an act of barbarism." How much more noble can a man be, defending a complete stranger like that?

Well, er, apparently noble enough to pull the plug on his own father.

It seems that in 1988, Charles Delay--Tom's father--was involved in a terrible accident. Doctors advised the family that given the extent of his injuries, there was no hope for recovery and would remain a "vegetable" for the rest of his life.

Even though there was no living will, the Delay family decided that Charles would not have wanted to live that way. Consequently, when his kidneys began to fail, the decision was made not to hook him up to a dialysis machine, and nature was allowed to take its course.

That old adage, "Do as I say, not as I do," would certainly seem to apply to Tom Delay. Of course, he claims that his father's circumstances were completely different, and I suppose that's true: There were no hypocritical Congressmen screaming about acts of barbarism while shamelessly looking to score points with evangelical groups.

Making No Bones About It

Scientists have discovered preserved "soft tissue" in the thigh bone of a T-Rex, believed to have been disconnected from life support 70 million years ago, in Montana. They say that the structure of the still intact blood vessels are similar to what you find in an ostrich, thereby lending more credence to the idea that birds evolved from dinosaurs.

What!?!?!? Evolved!?!?!?

That's absurd!!!! Everyone knows that this whole evolution thing is just a silly ol' theory with absolutely no basis in the bible, and therefore must not be true.

But beyond that, this discovery is rather scary. If these scientists can recover intact DNA from the cells, that raises the possibility that the dinosaur can be cloned.

Well, that's just freakin' great.... If walking down the street and encountering a snarling pit bull isn't scary enough, now I have to worry about being bitten by someone's pet Tyranosaurus Rex!?!?

More importantly, how the hell are you going to find a vet willing to neuter him?