I had a really bizarre dream last night. It was about 2000 years ago and had just come out of a Starbucks in Judea when I noticed a screaming mob down the street. So I went to see what was what.
It was Jesus and His disciples, and they were stoning some woman who was cowering in the middle of the street. So I turned to Jesus and said, "My lord, what hath this poor wretch done to deserve this? Is she a prostitute?"
"No," said our savior. "Much worse."
"Is she a thief?" I asked.
"No," said the son of God. "Much, much worse."
"Was she caught using birth control?"
"No," said the lord. "Even worse. She's an illegal alien who has come here looking for a better life her family."
Horrified, I picked up the biggest rock I could find and bashed her skull in.
So Jesus patted me on the back and bought me a beer.