Friday, December 24, 2010

Mmmm.... Tastes Like Chicken

What is this sick, twisted obsession so many people have with a white Christmas? Is it all because of that stupid Bing Crosby song?

A few years ago there was aa big snowstorm that affected the Midwest and the Northeast (DC was spared). It created a transportation nightmare. Motorists were stuck in their cars on interstates, and thousands of other unfortunate souls had to spend Christmas eve sleeping on the floors of airports. How cozy is that? Clearly Bing Freakin' Crosby never had to catch a connecting flight in Minneapolis during a blizzard.

And you know why? Because Bing was already holed up in some resort lodge in the Poconos, sitting next to a warm blazing fireplace, and thoughtfully puffing on his pipe as he wondered why none of his friends had shown up. Meanwhile, those very same friends are stuck on a road on some frozen mountain pass, struggling against the blinding whiteout conditions in a desperate bid to stay alive, and wondering who among them would be the first to be eaten by the group.

Clearly, Bing Crosby was an asshole.

1 thoughtful ramblings:

Real cab driver said...

I dunno..... I guess I've always liked those old Crosby and Danny Kaye movies. Let's see, who else was in them...... Who cares.

Snow, eh yeah.............

When I was pretty new at driving a semi truck I was headed for Baltimore, (I'm blanking on the highway exit, it's where Giant Foods warehouses are), and starting at about Columbus, Ohio, I was in this massive rain storm.

I'm going up and down those steep mountain hills on I68 in the Maryland panhandle, and suddenly I crest one and it's snow!!!! Oh, My, God.... I've never had a semi truck on snow before, and there is just one set of tire tracks in the snow ahead of me. It's about midnight. I repeat, OH MY GOD....

Of course I made it to Jessup in one piece, and of course some jerk was pounding on my window at 5 am. with this bull shit lie that he talked to my dispatcher who was to tell me I needed to pay him a C note for unloading my truck. I gave him 2 seconds to vanish before I set the dog on him.

Have a safe winter my friend.