Even I Have My Standards

People sometimes say to me, "Hey, Lugosi, or whatever the hell your real name is, have you ever even read the Bible?"

The answer to that is no. While I enjoy pornography as much as any degenerate pervert, I nonetheless have some standards that I must live up to.

Specifically, I'm referring to the story of Noah. According the good book, the only human survivors of the Great Flood were Noah and his family. That would mean that once the waters receded, they had to resort to incest in order to rebuild the human race. And given the high infant mortality rates of those pre-vaccine days, that means they had to reproduce as often as possible.

I, for one, am too moral to follow the teachings of a book that advocates rampant sexual promiscuity with your immediate relatives.