Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Merry Christmas & Don't Trip Over the Bodies
Known as Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving is considered by many in retail as the busiest shopping day of the year. And despite all the dire economic news of the last several months, shoppers crowded stores as early as 5 A.M.
In one particularly heartwarming tale, a Wal-Mart employee in New York was literally trampled to death by the crowd that surged through the doors when the store opened. Other employees who tried to help him were also knocked around by the stampede of shoppers. Even the police officers who tried to restore order were being jostled.
Many people are horrified by what happened. On the other hand, the store was selling 50" plasma TV's for $798, so why let a dead guy spoil the fun?
In one particularly heartwarming tale, a Wal-Mart employee in New York was literally trampled to death by the crowd that surged through the doors when the store opened. Other employees who tried to help him were also knocked around by the stampede of shoppers. Even the police officers who tried to restore order were being jostled.
Many people are horrified by what happened. On the other hand, the store was selling 50" plasma TV's for $798, so why let a dead guy spoil the fun?
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Oopsies
Remember the pirate ship that was sunk by the Indian warship last week? Well, it turns out that it was a Thai fishing vessel that had itself been seized by pirates earlier the same day.
The Thai boat had previously reported that it was under attack, and the crew had asked the British for assistance. But before more details could be gathered, its radio went silent. Pictures of the captured boat were broadcast to other naval vessels in the area but its unclear if the Indians got the message since they operate on a different frequency.
A Canadian crew member was rescued by another fishing boat after spending four days in the water. Fourteen more of the original crew members remain missing.
For their part, the Indians say they only fired in self defense after the pirates on the ship shot at them. Sad as it is, the situation points out the difficulty of policing that vast area of ocean.
The Thai boat had previously reported that it was under attack, and the crew had asked the British for assistance. But before more details could be gathered, its radio went silent. Pictures of the captured boat were broadcast to other naval vessels in the area but its unclear if the Indians got the message since they operate on a different frequency.
A Canadian crew member was rescued by another fishing boat after spending four days in the water. Fourteen more of the original crew members remain missing.
For their part, the Indians say they only fired in self defense after the pirates on the ship shot at them. Sad as it is, the situation points out the difficulty of policing that vast area of ocean.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
After All, The Catholic Church Is Never Wrong
Researchers in Poland say that they have positively identified the remains of Copernicus. DNA from the bones, which date back to the 16th century, match DNA in a hair found in one of Copernicus' books. Additionally, there is a mark on the skull that matches a scar the astronomer is known to have had.
In response, the Catholic church has begun proceedings to excommunicate Copernicus' remains on charges of heresy for daring to suggest that the sun does not revolve around the Earth.
In response, the Catholic church has begun proceedings to excommunicate Copernicus' remains on charges of heresy for daring to suggest that the sun does not revolve around the Earth.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Pass the Curry and Artillery Shells
Pirates near the coast of Somalia in recent days have seized Thai and Iranian vessels. These come on the heels of last weekend's capture of the Saudi supertanker. The pirates are now negotiating with the Saudis for a ransom. Incidentally, if you think it's Saudi Arabia that is going to be paying for the ship's release, you're wrong. Ultimately it's you and I that will pay for this in the form of higher gas prices.
But there's some good news from the area as well. A pirate ship in the Gulf of Aden recently made the mistake of firing on an Indian naval vessel. The warship quickly returned fire and sank the pirate vessel, then pursued the survivors when they tried to escape in speedboats.
The entire world was stunned by this recent development. Who even knew India had a navy?
But there's some good news from the area as well. A pirate ship in the Gulf of Aden recently made the mistake of firing on an Indian naval vessel. The warship quickly returned fire and sank the pirate vessel, then pursued the survivors when they tried to escape in speedboats.
The entire world was stunned by this recent development. Who even knew India had a navy?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Hillary for Secretary of State?
Not so Fast
There has been a lot of speculation that Hillary Clinton will be Obama's pick for Secretary of State. However, there may be a problem with that: The United States Constitution.
Article I, Section 6 of the document says that no member of Congress, during the term for which he was elected, shall be named to any office "the emoluments whereof shall have been increased during his term." This is a problem since the pay for the position of Secretary of State was increased during Clinton's current term in the Senate.
This unusual circumstance has arisen before and has been solved by giving the incoming official a pay cut. The last two times this has arisen, however, was with Republican Presidents. While the appointments (with pay cuts) were approved, some Democrats at the time questioned the legality of the maneuver. Now those objections may come back to haunt them.
On the other hand, George W. Bush spent the last eight pissing all over the Constitution, so maybe Article One, Section Six is no longer legible.
Article I, Section 6 of the document says that no member of Congress, during the term for which he was elected, shall be named to any office "the emoluments whereof shall have been increased during his term." This is a problem since the pay for the position of Secretary of State was increased during Clinton's current term in the Senate.
This unusual circumstance has arisen before and has been solved by giving the incoming official a pay cut. The last two times this has arisen, however, was with Republican Presidents. While the appointments (with pay cuts) were approved, some Democrats at the time questioned the legality of the maneuver. Now those objections may come back to haunt them.
On the other hand, George W. Bush spent the last eight pissing all over the Constitution, so maybe Article One, Section Six is no longer legible.
Reasons We Should have Voted Republican
Maybe if more people had seen the below video prior to election day, John McCain would be our next President.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Out of This World Spam
NASA has finally developed an internet type computer network for use in outer space. The system is expected to improve communication with spacecraft, and should make missions easier to manage. In time, astronauts may even be able to check their email.
This raises an interesting question: If you're on the International Space Station, how are you going to get that shipment of penis enhancement pills you just ordered?
This raises an interesting question: If you're on the International Space Station, how are you going to get that shipment of penis enhancement pills you just ordered?
New Star Trek Trailer
And unless we're intentionally being misled by one of the scenes, the young Kirk wastes no time blowing up his new ship.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Shiver Me Timbers,
It's a Pirate's Life for Me
For the last several years, Somali pirates have harassed shipping along the northeast coast of Africa (note to Sarah Palin: That would be the continent of Africa). This is an area of strategic importance since it includes tankers coming from the Middle East, as well as freighters using the Suez Canel as a shortcut between the Atlantic and Indian Oceans. In response, the U.S. Navy has stepped up its presence in the area.
Occasionally, the pirates--usually in highly maneuverable speedboats--do succeed in capturing smaller ships and holding the crews for ransom. They are still holding a Russian freighter loaded with tanks that they captured last month. Aside from that, the pirates have had limited success.... Until this week.
This time they succeeded in capturing a Saudi Arabian supertanker the size of an aircraft carrier. The ship is loaded with two million barrels of crude oil worth about $100 million.
Of greater concern, however, is that this attack took place more than 500 miles from the coast. That's much further out to sea than the pirates have operated before, and well beyond the area patrolled by U.S. warships. It also suggests the pirates are getting bolder and more sophisticated.
On the other hand, it's kind of like a dog that loves chasing cars and finally catches one: Now that you have it, what do you do with it?
Occasionally, the pirates--usually in highly maneuverable speedboats--do succeed in capturing smaller ships and holding the crews for ransom. They are still holding a Russian freighter loaded with tanks that they captured last month. Aside from that, the pirates have had limited success.... Until this week.
This time they succeeded in capturing a Saudi Arabian supertanker the size of an aircraft carrier. The ship is loaded with two million barrels of crude oil worth about $100 million.
Of greater concern, however, is that this attack took place more than 500 miles from the coast. That's much further out to sea than the pirates have operated before, and well beyond the area patrolled by U.S. warships. It also suggests the pirates are getting bolder and more sophisticated.
On the other hand, it's kind of like a dog that loves chasing cars and finally catches one: Now that you have it, what do you do with it?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Personally I Prefer the Grape Flovored Kool--Aid
When someone gets suckered into some sort of scheme, it's often said that "he drank the Kool-Aid." Well, today marks the 30th anniversary of the origin of that phrase.
It was in the country of Guyana in South America that a cult leader named Jim Jones decided to make a home for his wacky band of followers, the Peoples Temple. A small group of critics, led by American congressman Leo Ryan of California, traveled to Jonestown to check out allegations of brainwashing and other abuses. The visit didn't go well for Jones and other Peoples Temple leaders. Just as Ryan's group was preparing to leave, the congressman and several others in the group were shot and killed.
Sensing that his days were numbered, Jones ordered his followers to drink Kool-Aid laced with cyanide. Many apparently did so willingly; those that hesitated were shot. By the time it was over, more than 900 people were dead.
So the next time someone asks you to drink the Kool-Aid, tell them to go first.
It was in the country of Guyana in South America that a cult leader named Jim Jones decided to make a home for his wacky band of followers, the Peoples Temple. A small group of critics, led by American congressman Leo Ryan of California, traveled to Jonestown to check out allegations of brainwashing and other abuses. The visit didn't go well for Jones and other Peoples Temple leaders. Just as Ryan's group was preparing to leave, the congressman and several others in the group were shot and killed.
Sensing that his days were numbered, Jones ordered his followers to drink Kool-Aid laced with cyanide. Many apparently did so willingly; those that hesitated were shot. By the time it was over, more than 900 people were dead.
So the next time someone asks you to drink the Kool-Aid, tell them to go first.
Damn Chinese Time Machine Parts
"Back to the Future" actor Christopher Lloyd's home was among the dozens destroyed in last week's southern California wildfires.
Authorities are looking into whether a malfunctioning flux capacitor triggered the blaze.
Authorities are looking into whether a malfunctioning flux capacitor triggered the blaze.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged
A priest in South Carolina has warned his parishioners that they are NOT eligible for communion if they voted for Obama. The problem? Well, according to the Rev. Jay Scott Newman, since Obama supports a woman's right to choose, then a vote for him "constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil."
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, here's a great hypothetical situation for the Reverend: Let's say you're a bishop who has just found out one of his priests has been molesting the altar boys. But instead of reporting him to law enforcement and expelling him from the church, you choose to merely transfer him to another parish. And when he does the same damn thing there, you transfer him yet again.
How does that NOT constitute "material cooperation with intrinsic evil?"
Too bad the Catholic church isn't as judgmental about its own priests as it is about everyone else.
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, here's a great hypothetical situation for the Reverend: Let's say you're a bishop who has just found out one of his priests has been molesting the altar boys. But instead of reporting him to law enforcement and expelling him from the church, you choose to merely transfer him to another parish. And when he does the same damn thing there, you transfer him yet again.
How does that NOT constitute "material cooperation with intrinsic evil?"
Too bad the Catholic church isn't as judgmental about its own priests as it is about everyone else.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Biden, Cheney Meet
Just a few weeks ago, then vice presidential candidate Joe Biden called Dick Cheney "the most dangerous vice president we've had."
With the campaign now over, and in an effort to demonstrate that there are no hard feelings, the two men met last night at the official vice presidential residence in DC. Cheney then invited the incoming vice president to go "hunting" in the backyard.
Curiously, Biden hasn't been seen since.
With the campaign now over, and in an effort to demonstrate that there are no hard feelings, the two men met last night at the official vice presidential residence in DC. Cheney then invited the incoming vice president to go "hunting" in the backyard.
Curiously, Biden hasn't been seen since.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Hillary Was Right
Back during the primary season, Hillary Clinton claimed to have been under sniper fire during her visit to Bosnia ten years ago. A number of people quickly claimed forward and said that simply wasn't true. The former First Lady turned presidential hopeful quickly became the butt of jokes over her (apparently) false claim.
The point is now moot, but it turns out Hillary was telling the truth:
The point is now moot, but it turns out Hillary was telling the truth:
How True
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn.
The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and prove it.
The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and prove it.
----P. J. O'Rourke
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Siriusly XM
Even though the merger between Sirius and XM was finalized several months ago, the two have continued to operate as separate entities, with their own distinct channels. This has been more difficult than you might expect since the two companies operate off different satellites and use different radios.
Personally, I've had XM continuously since 2005. I've had Sirius off and on since roughly the same time period. Though I had favorite channels on both, overall I would have given Sirius the edge in its music offerings. Technically, however, XM has a superior broadcast system. Its signals have far fewer problems with overhead obstructions like trees and overpasses than Sirius does.
The separate programming has now come to an end, as both have finally begun offering the exact same music channels. For the most part, it seems that XM lost more of its original channels, replaced by the corresponding Sirius channels. Existing Sirius and XM radios, however, will continue to operate.
For example, XM classic rock channels (Top Tracks and Big Tracks) were replaced entirely by Sirius' classic rock channels (Classic Vinyl and Classic Rewind). The channel positions on XM stayed the same, however. In other words, Classic Vinyl remains as channel 14 on Sirius but channel 46 on XM.
The same thing happened with the 80s channel. You now have the same programming on both XM's and Sirius' channel 8. This is a good thing, since I've always found the 80s channel on Sirius to be more enjoyable--they play more of the decade's hits, plus they have several of the original MTV crew (Alan Hunter, Nina Blackwood, and Martha Quinn) doing the programming.
Also, my favorite Sirius channel--the Coffee House (ch. 30)--is now available on XM as ch. 51, as is the Springsteen channel (58 on XM and 10 on Sirius),
In some cases, existing channels changed position entirely. A case in point is XM's former classical channels (110, 112, & 113) are now channels 77,78, and 79. What's more, if you had any of those channels as a preset on your radio, XM automatically changed the preset for you.
I know XM thinks that was a good idea that would make things easier on their subscribers, but it's just downright creepy. I'm not sure I appreciate some XM employee picking the lock on my car in the middle of the night and resetting the buttons on my radio. That's just wrong. For all I know, he may have found the stash of dirty magazines I keep under the front seat.
I better not find any of the pages stuck together.... Well, at least not any that weren't already that way.
Personally, I've had XM continuously since 2005. I've had Sirius off and on since roughly the same time period. Though I had favorite channels on both, overall I would have given Sirius the edge in its music offerings. Technically, however, XM has a superior broadcast system. Its signals have far fewer problems with overhead obstructions like trees and overpasses than Sirius does.
The separate programming has now come to an end, as both have finally begun offering the exact same music channels. For the most part, it seems that XM lost more of its original channels, replaced by the corresponding Sirius channels. Existing Sirius and XM radios, however, will continue to operate.
For example, XM classic rock channels (Top Tracks and Big Tracks) were replaced entirely by Sirius' classic rock channels (Classic Vinyl and Classic Rewind). The channel positions on XM stayed the same, however. In other words, Classic Vinyl remains as channel 14 on Sirius but channel 46 on XM.
The same thing happened with the 80s channel. You now have the same programming on both XM's and Sirius' channel 8. This is a good thing, since I've always found the 80s channel on Sirius to be more enjoyable--they play more of the decade's hits, plus they have several of the original MTV crew (Alan Hunter, Nina Blackwood, and Martha Quinn) doing the programming.
Also, my favorite Sirius channel--the Coffee House (ch. 30)--is now available on XM as ch. 51, as is the Springsteen channel (58 on XM and 10 on Sirius),
In some cases, existing channels changed position entirely. A case in point is XM's former classical channels (110, 112, & 113) are now channels 77,78, and 79. What's more, if you had any of those channels as a preset on your radio, XM automatically changed the preset for you.
I know XM thinks that was a good idea that would make things easier on their subscribers, but it's just downright creepy. I'm not sure I appreciate some XM employee picking the lock on my car in the middle of the night and resetting the buttons on my radio. That's just wrong. For all I know, he may have found the stash of dirty magazines I keep under the front seat.
I better not find any of the pages stuck together.... Well, at least not any that weren't already that way.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
The Right to Choose: As American as Apple Pie
Ya gotta love the Catholic church.
Catholic bishops are vowing to fight Obama on abortion rights. Their logic is that by continuing to support freedom of choice for women, the incoming President will somehow be attacking the church and religious freedom. It remains unclear, however, exactly what their logic is in this matter. If the bishops don't want to have an abortion, well, then they shouldn't have one if by some divine miracle they get knocked up. But what right do they have to force their religious will on other people?
More to the point, why do they think they have ANY moral authority to tell others what is right and what is wrong? For decades they repeatedly went out of their way to cover for priests who were molesting children. These same self-righteous bishops remained silent and merely transferred the guilty priests from one parish to another. Now all of sudden they're going to start spouting moralistic dictates? Give me a freakin' break.
Poll after poll has repeatedly shown that the American people favor giving women the right to choose. That's what made the recent presidential election so important. It's also a big reason the Republicans went down in defeat last week. Abortion is has become the litmus test for GOP candidates. If you're pro-choice, the party simply doesn't want you.
In fact, the people of South Dakota--one of the most conservative states in the U.S.--last week defeated a measure that would seriously have restricted abortion rights. The state legislature put the measure on the ballot knowing that it went against the freedoms guaranteed by the Supreme Court's 1973 Roe v. Wade decision. The hope was that the new law would set up a legal battle that would once again end up before the Supreme Court.
Abortion opponents in South Dakota were gambling that by that time President McCain would have had the opportunity to appoint at least one more conservative justice to the Supreme Court. That would have tipped the balance of power on the court to likely abortion opponents, and Roe v. Wade would have been overturned. That would have been bad for women but great for the clothes hanger industry.
But with Obama as President, any future court appointments are likely to be liberal judges. That insures that the rights of women to choose will be maintained. How is the maintenance of personal freedom an attack on the church? Indeed, by advocating such a hardline position, is it not the church itself which is launching an attack on everyone else's freedoms?
I'm sorry, but when a highly religious minority tries to force its will on an entire country, you end up with Afghanistan under the Taliban.
Catholic bishops are vowing to fight Obama on abortion rights. Their logic is that by continuing to support freedom of choice for women, the incoming President will somehow be attacking the church and religious freedom. It remains unclear, however, exactly what their logic is in this matter. If the bishops don't want to have an abortion, well, then they shouldn't have one if by some divine miracle they get knocked up. But what right do they have to force their religious will on other people?
More to the point, why do they think they have ANY moral authority to tell others what is right and what is wrong? For decades they repeatedly went out of their way to cover for priests who were molesting children. These same self-righteous bishops remained silent and merely transferred the guilty priests from one parish to another. Now all of sudden they're going to start spouting moralistic dictates? Give me a freakin' break.
Poll after poll has repeatedly shown that the American people favor giving women the right to choose. That's what made the recent presidential election so important. It's also a big reason the Republicans went down in defeat last week. Abortion is has become the litmus test for GOP candidates. If you're pro-choice, the party simply doesn't want you.
In fact, the people of South Dakota--one of the most conservative states in the U.S.--last week defeated a measure that would seriously have restricted abortion rights. The state legislature put the measure on the ballot knowing that it went against the freedoms guaranteed by the Supreme Court's 1973 Roe v. Wade decision. The hope was that the new law would set up a legal battle that would once again end up before the Supreme Court.
Abortion opponents in South Dakota were gambling that by that time President McCain would have had the opportunity to appoint at least one more conservative justice to the Supreme Court. That would have tipped the balance of power on the court to likely abortion opponents, and Roe v. Wade would have been overturned. That would have been bad for women but great for the clothes hanger industry.
But with Obama as President, any future court appointments are likely to be liberal judges. That insures that the rights of women to choose will be maintained. How is the maintenance of personal freedom an attack on the church? Indeed, by advocating such a hardline position, is it not the church itself which is launching an attack on everyone else's freedoms?
I'm sorry, but when a highly religious minority tries to force its will on an entire country, you end up with Afghanistan under the Taliban.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Clothes Encounters
Poor Sarah Palin. The Alaska governor apparently "forgot" to separate that $150,000 worth of clothes from her own actual stuff before returning home. Now staffers from the Republican National Committee have flown to Alaska to help her with the task. Palin and the staffers have been sorting through the former VP candidate's stuff trying to determine what's legitimately hers and what was bought for during the campaign. The RNC had previously said that the clothes would either be returned for a refund or donated to charity.
Monday, November 10, 2008
A Toast to the Winner
Good grief. There's an actual listing on eBay for a piece of toast bearing Obama's likeness. Even more frightening: Some idiot has actually bid 20 bucks for the thing.
And I thought McCain was the one who was toast.
And I thought McCain was the one who was toast.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Introducing Paloma
The North Atlantic hurricane season doesn't officially end for another three weeks. As a reminder of that, Hurricane Paloma strengthened into a category 4 storm last night. Winds are currently 140 mph, with gusts up to 160 mph. Paloma is currently in the Caribbean and expected to hit the central southern coast of Cuba sometime tonight.
The storm is expected to weaken after crossing the island and continue northeastward. That will take it away from the U.S. coast, thereby giving Bush one less chance to royally f*ck something up in the waning days of his administration.
The storm is expected to weaken after crossing the island and continue northeastward. That will take it away from the U.S. coast, thereby giving Bush one less chance to royally f*ck something up in the waning days of his administration.
Putting Things in Perspective
I've previously posted a different version of this video (there are several others on youtube). This particular one is especially humbling.
(Found @ Too Many Tribbles)
(Found @ Too Many Tribbles)
Friday, November 07, 2008
Unofficial Vote Totals
It looks like the final electoral vote tally will be 364 for Obama and 174 for McCain. I'm including Missouri's 11 votes in that total. Officially the state is still listed as too close to call, but McCain has about a 5800 vote lead out of almost three million that were cast. State officials are still counting absentee ballots.
A couple of days ago I mentioned that Nebraska is the only state that splits its electoral votes based on the outcome in each congressional district. Well, turns out Maine does the same thing (I'll go back and correct the original post since it is likely to become an important reference tool for future scholars). Also, while all five of Nebraska's electoral votes are listed as being for McCain, there is now a strong possibility that one of them will go to Obama. Again, they are still counting some absentee ballots. The final totals should be out next week.
As the the popular vote stands now, Obama received 65,293,083 (53%) votes compared to 57,325,487 (46%) for McCain. The remaining 1% went to assorted minor party candidates.
A couple of days ago I mentioned that Nebraska is the only state that splits its electoral votes based on the outcome in each congressional district. Well, turns out Maine does the same thing (I'll go back and correct the original post since it is likely to become an important reference tool for future scholars). Also, while all five of Nebraska's electoral votes are listed as being for McCain, there is now a strong possibility that one of them will go to Obama. Again, they are still counting some absentee ballots. The final totals should be out next week.
As the the popular vote stands now, Obama received 65,293,083 (53%) votes compared to 57,325,487 (46%) for McCain. The remaining 1% went to assorted minor party candidates.
House of Horrors
Okay, so Halloween was last week. But unfortunately I'm running behind in my TV viewing and only just saw this.
Feeling Old
Barack Obama is 47 and his wife Michelle is 44. Based on that, here are some fun age-related facts that serve absolutely no useful purpose.
Barack is:
(Actually, the first item isn't entirely true. Obama would have been eight at the time of Woodstock. And if you believe the Republicans' assertions that he was a top adviser to the Weather Underground at that age, Obama would certainly have been able to go to Woodstock.)
And Michelle is:
The only thing I might add to that list is that he's the first President younger than me.
I can feel my prostate enlarging even as I type these words....
Barack is:
- The first president too young to have gone to Woodstock....
- The first president too young to have been drafted....
- The first president younger than Caroline Kennedy....
- The first president younger than almost all of the Brady Bunch (he's 10 days older than Cindy).
(Actually, the first item isn't entirely true. Obama would have been eight at the time of Woodstock. And if you believe the Republicans' assertions that he was a top adviser to the Weather Underground at that age, Obama would certainly have been able to go to Woodstock.)
And Michelle is:
- First first lady too young to have voted for Jimmy Carter....
- First first lady to graduate from high school in the 1980s....
- First first lady younger than 60 percent of the stars of The Breakfast Club....
- First first lady younger than Madonna.
The only thing I might add to that list is that he's the first President younger than me.
I can feel my prostate enlarging even as I type these words....
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Live from New York....
Saturday Night Live has had a remarkable run this fall with its election parodies. Here's a montage of some of their best moments, not only since last August, but going back several years.
A Newspaper, A Newspaper,
My Kingdom for a Newspaper
Newspapers nowadays are always complaining about declining circulation and how they're losing readers to the internet. As a result, some have actually gone out of business, and many others are either laying off newsroom staff or offering them early retirement packages. Given this reality, you would think that newspapers would jump at any opportunity to increase circulation, however briefly.
Well, if you tried to buy a paper yesterday, hopefully you had better luck than I did.
I buy a Washington Post and USAToday every day. It's part of my routine. It's sacrosanct. If I don't have a newspaper to read between fares, I may as well not be wearing pants. Either way, things just don't feel right.
I tried to buy both papers during my usual 10 AM pit stop. The gas station was sold out, so I tried the 7-11 next door. Also sold out. Went across the street to a CVS. Again, sold out. Tried the grocery store. Sold out. Tried Starbucks. Sold out, but plenty of overpriced coffee. Went back to the metro station where there are approximately umpteen million newspaper boxes. All of them were empty.
During the course of the day I must have tried at least a dozen other places, and there simply wasn't a copy of the Post or USAToday to be found. I mentioned this to a passenger, and he had encountered the same difficulty downtown.
That was the situation yesterday here in the DC area. I'm guessing the same was true across the country.
There's general agreement that Obama's election was historic. So why didn't newspapers print extra copies? Didn't they realize that a lot more people would be looking for one, either to read for more news on the election, or to hold on to as a keepsake? Or were the newspaper employees who might otherwise have made that decision laid off last month? Perhaps a few readers might even have fallen back in the habit of buying a paper every day.
One thing's for sure: It gets really drafty driving without pants.
Well, if you tried to buy a paper yesterday, hopefully you had better luck than I did.
I buy a Washington Post and USAToday every day. It's part of my routine. It's sacrosanct. If I don't have a newspaper to read between fares, I may as well not be wearing pants. Either way, things just don't feel right.
I tried to buy both papers during my usual 10 AM pit stop. The gas station was sold out, so I tried the 7-11 next door. Also sold out. Went across the street to a CVS. Again, sold out. Tried the grocery store. Sold out. Tried Starbucks. Sold out, but plenty of overpriced coffee. Went back to the metro station where there are approximately umpteen million newspaper boxes. All of them were empty.
During the course of the day I must have tried at least a dozen other places, and there simply wasn't a copy of the Post or USAToday to be found. I mentioned this to a passenger, and he had encountered the same difficulty downtown.
That was the situation yesterday here in the DC area. I'm guessing the same was true across the country.
There's general agreement that Obama's election was historic. So why didn't newspapers print extra copies? Didn't they realize that a lot more people would be looking for one, either to read for more news on the election, or to hold on to as a keepsake? Or were the newspaper employees who might otherwise have made that decision laid off last month? Perhaps a few readers might even have fallen back in the habit of buying a paper every day.
One thing's for sure: It gets really drafty driving without pants.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
In & Out
Every January 1 the Washington Post publishes a list of what's in & what's out. And while today may not be New Year's Day, it nonetheless marks the beginning of something new. Here's a special election edition of the In & Out List.
'Splaining the Electoral College
This might be a good time to give an explanation of how the electoral college works.
Each state's number of electoral votes is based on its total number of senators and congressional representatives. Since representatives are distributed according to population (though even the smallest states get at least one), more populous states have more electoral votes at stake. Additionally, Washington, DC--though not a state--has three electoral votes. U.S. territories like Puerto Rico, Guam, and Iraq, however, don't have any.
Since there are 435 members of the House of Representatives and 100 Senators, there are a total of 538 electoral votes (including DC's) in play during a presidential election. A simple majority of 270 is needed to win.
In almost every state, the electoral votes are a winner-take-all proposition. Nebraska and Maine are the exceptions. In those states one electoral vote goes to the winner of each individual congressional district, and the remaining two go to the winner of the entire state. At this point it looks like McCain won all five electoral votes in Nebraska and Obama won all four in Maine.
Not complicated enough? Well, then get a load of this: When you vote for President in the United States, the ballot will say something along the lines of "Electors for John McCain" or "Electors for Barack Obama." That's because those so-called electoral votes consist of actual flesh and blood people. They're usually the top party officials within each states, and they're actually the ones who will pick the next President.
And you thought we did that yesterday, didn't you?
The electors will gather, usually in the various state capitals, in December to cast their votes. Some states have passed laws binding their votes, but that has never been challenged in court. So theoretically, at least, they could vote for whoever the hell they want. Occasionally in the past someone has gone rogue, but it has never been enough of a problem to throw an election.
Their votes are then sealed and sent to Congress. In January, after the new Congressional members are seated, the ballots are opened. And THAT'S when our new President becomes official.
F*cked up? Yes. But you have to keep in mind that our Founding Fathers wrote the Constitution before marijuana became illegal.
Each state's number of electoral votes is based on its total number of senators and congressional representatives. Since representatives are distributed according to population (though even the smallest states get at least one), more populous states have more electoral votes at stake. Additionally, Washington, DC--though not a state--has three electoral votes. U.S. territories like Puerto Rico, Guam, and Iraq, however, don't have any.
Since there are 435 members of the House of Representatives and 100 Senators, there are a total of 538 electoral votes (including DC's) in play during a presidential election. A simple majority of 270 is needed to win.
In almost every state, the electoral votes are a winner-take-all proposition. Nebraska and Maine are the exceptions. In those states one electoral vote goes to the winner of each individual congressional district, and the remaining two go to the winner of the entire state. At this point it looks like McCain won all five electoral votes in Nebraska and Obama won all four in Maine.
Not complicated enough? Well, then get a load of this: When you vote for President in the United States, the ballot will say something along the lines of "Electors for John McCain" or "Electors for Barack Obama." That's because those so-called electoral votes consist of actual flesh and blood people. They're usually the top party officials within each states, and they're actually the ones who will pick the next President.
And you thought we did that yesterday, didn't you?
The electors will gather, usually in the various state capitals, in December to cast their votes. Some states have passed laws binding their votes, but that has never been challenged in court. So theoretically, at least, they could vote for whoever the hell they want. Occasionally in the past someone has gone rogue, but it has never been enough of a problem to throw an election.
Their votes are then sealed and sent to Congress. In January, after the new Congressional members are seated, the ballots are opened. And THAT'S when our new President becomes official.
F*cked up? Yes. But you have to keep in mind that our Founding Fathers wrote the Constitution before marijuana became illegal.
Changes
You know what's really amazing about the outcome of this election? If Obama had tried running for office just 50 years ago, there were plenty of places where the cops would have sicced police dogs on him.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
This Race Is Now Over
CNN has now projected Ohio for Obama, as well as New Mexico. Those two states alone represent 25 electoral votes that had gone to Bush in 2004. Since it's a safe bet that all the states that went Democratic four years ago will again go that way, that would mean that Obama has now won.
Returns so Far
At this point CNN's projections are showing Obama with a 174-64 electoral vote lead. It's important to note, however, that so far none of the states with projected results have switched sides compared to how they voted in 2004. And since the final total four years ago was 286-252, that only requires a switch of 17 electoral votes (270 is needed to win). This also assumes, however, that none of the Democratic states from 2004 will go Republican this year.
If either Florida OR Ohio switch sides, that would certainly make the difference. However, no projections on either one so far.
While the polls have been closed for more than two hours in Virginia, it also remains up in the air. And here's a remarkable statistic: By 10 AM almost 50% of the eligible voters in Virginia had voted.
Yeah, and every one of them was in front of me at 6:30.
If either Florida OR Ohio switch sides, that would certainly make the difference. However, no projections on either one so far.
While the polls have been closed for more than two hours in Virginia, it also remains up in the air. And here's a remarkable statistic: By 10 AM almost 50% of the eligible voters in Virginia had voted.
Yeah, and every one of them was in front of me at 6:30.
Waiting on the First Returns
Polls in Virginia are now closed. However, anyone in line at 7 PM will still be able to vote. Given the heavy turnout, there likely won't be any returns for a while. Still, since Virginia is among the first states to have polls close, it will no doubt be among the first to have returns come in.
If the state does in fact go for Obama (as the polls suggest it will), this election will be over. It's not that Virginia's 13 electoral votes are a major prize. Rather, it's because Virginia has not gone democratic in a presidential election since 1964 when it went for Lyndon Johnson. If Virginia changes now, it will signal a national trend that favors the Democrats.
Incidentally, the Republican that lost the 1964 election was Barry Goldwater, a Senator from the state of Arizona. Goldwater returned to the Senate in 1968, and held the seat until he retired in 1986. And guess who replaced him? None other than John McCain himself. That may not quite qualify as irony, but it will still be good for a few laughs.
I voted at 6:30 this morning.... Well, more precisely, I arrived at my polling place at 6:30. I didn't actually get to vote till almost 7:00.
When I arrived at my precinct, there must have been over 200 people in line. That immediately shot my theory that by voting early I'd avoid the crowds straight to hell. I overheard one of the election volunteers that there were already 15 people in line when they arrived at 5 AM (the polls opened at 6:00). Despite the heavy turnout, they did a reasonable job with crowd control, however.
In 2004 I had to wait about 45 minutes in a much shorter line, and we were outside for much of the time. This time they allowed us to queue up inside. Folded tables had been set up to snake the main line through the auditorium. Then near the end we were divided into three shorter lines depending on the first letter of your last name.
Most people opted for the paper ballots (as did I) since there was only one touchscreen voting machine, and that had its own little separate line.
The paper ballot was a little confusing. I think I may have ended up voting for Pat Buchanan.
If the state does in fact go for Obama (as the polls suggest it will), this election will be over. It's not that Virginia's 13 electoral votes are a major prize. Rather, it's because Virginia has not gone democratic in a presidential election since 1964 when it went for Lyndon Johnson. If Virginia changes now, it will signal a national trend that favors the Democrats.
Incidentally, the Republican that lost the 1964 election was Barry Goldwater, a Senator from the state of Arizona. Goldwater returned to the Senate in 1968, and held the seat until he retired in 1986. And guess who replaced him? None other than John McCain himself. That may not quite qualify as irony, but it will still be good for a few laughs.
I voted at 6:30 this morning.... Well, more precisely, I arrived at my polling place at 6:30. I didn't actually get to vote till almost 7:00.
When I arrived at my precinct, there must have been over 200 people in line. That immediately shot my theory that by voting early I'd avoid the crowds straight to hell. I overheard one of the election volunteers that there were already 15 people in line when they arrived at 5 AM (the polls opened at 6:00). Despite the heavy turnout, they did a reasonable job with crowd control, however.
In 2004 I had to wait about 45 minutes in a much shorter line, and we were outside for much of the time. This time they allowed us to queue up inside. Folded tables had been set up to snake the main line through the auditorium. Then near the end we were divided into three shorter lines depending on the first letter of your last name.
Most people opted for the paper ballots (as did I) since there was only one touchscreen voting machine, and that had its own little separate line.
The paper ballot was a little confusing. I think I may have ended up voting for Pat Buchanan.
Monday, November 03, 2008
McCain & Palin Address the Nation
Last Wednesday night Barack Obama addressed the nation. This past Saturday, John McCain and Tina Fey--er, I mean Sarah Palin--did the same.
According to Republican Strategists,
John McCain Is a Dangerous Madman
Back in the year 2000, when Bush and McCain were locked in a tight race for the nomination, the same people that are now spreading various rumors about Obama told us that McCain was mentally unstable because of his years as a POW. Then just before the South Carolina primary they started another rumor that McCain had fathered a child by a black woman. They also circulated stories that McCain was gay.
So..... IF these people lied about McCain's mental health eight years ago, why should we believe their current warnings about Obama?
On the other hand, IF they're telling the truth about Obama, then they must have been telling the truth in 2000, which raises an interesting question: Is McCain cured, or is he still crazy?
I for one am not willing to take a chance on putting a crazed adulterous homosexual madman in the White House.
So..... IF these people lied about McCain's mental health eight years ago, why should we believe their current warnings about Obama?
On the other hand, IF they're telling the truth about Obama, then they must have been telling the truth in 2000, which raises an interesting question: Is McCain cured, or is he still crazy?
I for one am not willing to take a chance on putting a crazed adulterous homosexual madman in the White House.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Does Anyone Really Know What Time It Is?
The legendary semi-annual changing of the clocks took place last night, and by now all of America should be on standard time. Many people hate doing this little ritual, and have argued that the U.S. is the only country that does it.
That's simply not true.
In fact, most of the industrial world changes their clocks twice a year. One notable exception: Japan. They only did it for a few years immediately after WWII when the evil American occupiers forced them to do so. As soon as we left, the Japanese stopped changing their clocks.
Another noticeable exception is China. Not only do they not change their clocks, they don't even observe time zones. So when it's a bright sunshiny 9 A.M. in Beijing, it's also 9 A.M. and in the middle of the night in western China.
When it comes to being a maverick, John McCain has nothing on Nepal. That tiny country not only remains on standard time year round, but also stays 15 minutes behind everyone else. In other words, if it's noon here in D.C., it's actually 9:45 PM in Kathmandu.
In Russia, Stalin once imposed Daylight Savings Time on the country and apparently forgot to end it. As a result, the entire nation remained on DST for 60 years.
And in Iran, well, it just depends on who's running the place at any given moment.
In the U.S., Arizona and Hawaii remain on standard time year round. Until 2005, Indiana allowed it's individual counties to determine whether they wanted to change their clocks (that practice had a lot to do with the fact that their northern counties are suburbs of Chicago, which is in the central time zone while most of Indiana is in the earstern zone). Then there was the winter of 1975/1976, when the U.S. decided to pass up switching to standard time entirely.
One of the few nations that has never wavered in its support of changing the clocks is Britain. They've been doing it faithfully ever since the whole idea started during WWI.
That's simply not true.
In fact, most of the industrial world changes their clocks twice a year. One notable exception: Japan. They only did it for a few years immediately after WWII when the evil American occupiers forced them to do so. As soon as we left, the Japanese stopped changing their clocks.
Another noticeable exception is China. Not only do they not change their clocks, they don't even observe time zones. So when it's a bright sunshiny 9 A.M. in Beijing, it's also 9 A.M. and in the middle of the night in western China.
When it comes to being a maverick, John McCain has nothing on Nepal. That tiny country not only remains on standard time year round, but also stays 15 minutes behind everyone else. In other words, if it's noon here in D.C., it's actually 9:45 PM in Kathmandu.
In Russia, Stalin once imposed Daylight Savings Time on the country and apparently forgot to end it. As a result, the entire nation remained on DST for 60 years.
And in Iran, well, it just depends on who's running the place at any given moment.
In the U.S., Arizona and Hawaii remain on standard time year round. Until 2005, Indiana allowed it's individual counties to determine whether they wanted to change their clocks (that practice had a lot to do with the fact that their northern counties are suburbs of Chicago, which is in the central time zone while most of Indiana is in the earstern zone). Then there was the winter of 1975/1976, when the U.S. decided to pass up switching to standard time entirely.
One of the few nations that has never wavered in its support of changing the clocks is Britain. They've been doing it faithfully ever since the whole idea started during WWI.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
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