Forget The Navy. Send Cheney And His Shotgun.

President Bush has ordered the United States Navy to shoot down a malfunctioning spy satellite. Without any intervention, the satellite is expected to return to Earth later this month or early March. However, its descent would be completely uncontrolled, and larger pieces would likely survive their fiery plunge back to Earth. That also means that those remains could end up anywhere, including your backyard.... Even worse, MY backyard. Of particular concern is a fuel tank holding highly toxic rocket fuel.

Of course, given his track record, Bush may end up ordering the wrong satellite to be shot down.