How Does Uranus Factor into All This?

Nothing to Lose Your Head Over

At Least We Know Whose Side Jesus Is On

This ran on the front page of today's Washington Post. It's a picture of Jesus tackling a New York city cop during the Occupy Wall Street protests.

Happy Columbus Day!

Today is Columbus Day, which commemorates Christopher Columbus' "discovery" of America in 1492. During the past few years the intrepid explorer's reputation has fallen victim to the rise of political correctness. No less an authority than Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has accused the explorer of "genocide." On the other hand, this ignores the minor detail that if there had been no Columbus, then Chavez would never have had a country to be President of, and he wouldn't be in a position to make such outlandish statements.

Such accusations about Columbus are unfortunate, and it's high time someone set the record straight.

First of all, Columbus--to the best of my knowledge--never killed any Indians, and he can hardly be held responsible for the actions of others who followed him. And does anyone honestly believe that if Columbus had NOT made his discovery, the rest of the world would not have somehow stumbled across the Americas at some later date? Otherwise, wouldn't people of this alternate 21st century reality have wondered why there was a big hole in their GPS devices' maps of the western hemisphere?

Additionally, Columbus was Italian but sailed on behalf of Portugal. The Conquistadors, who shoulder much of the responsibility of what eventually happened to the native population, were from Spain. After that came the French and the English. The few Italians that did finally follow Columbus across the ocean blue were limited by law to working as cops in New York city.

Besides, it's not Columbus' fault that Indians were already living here and kept getting in the way. They should have just gone back to where they came from! And while Columbus may not have been the first to find the Americas, his discovery was the first to "take." It set the stage for future European colonization, something earlier discoveries by the Vikings failed to do.... Though they did eventually make three Super Bowl appearances under the able leadership of Fran Tarkenton.

Most importantly, Columbus' arrival in the New World demonstrated the need for strong, effective immigration policies.... As well as the importance of maintaining an up to date smallpox vaccination schedule.

At any rate, the bottom line is that if it weren't for the European colonization of the Americas, there would still be buffalo roaming across our interstates. And if you think an overturned tanker truck causes traffic tie ups, think what a herd of several hundred thousand bison would do.

President Sitting Bull would have admitted SMOKING that corn husk but denied ever inhaling it. And he would certainly have denied having sexual relations with that squaw, Pochohantas.

Furthermore, man would never have landed on the moon, John Wayne wouldn't have had a movie career, there would never have been a Star Trek or Star Wars, the light bulb would never have been invented, we'd all be writing emails in the dark, and Iraq would be a stable nation.

Oh, and the entire world (including the French) would be speaking German or Japanese.

So happy Columbus Day!!

Hitler Discovers There Is No iPhone 5

Steve Jobs(February 24, 1955 – October 5, 2011)

Remembering 9-10-01

Today marks the tenth anniversary of September 10, 2001. Even though that day is fast receding into the distant past, it deserves to be remembered. Here are just a few of the things that made 9/10/01 so unique:

• There were no armed fighter jets patrolling the skies of the United States, nor was it necessary to dispatch them whenever an airline passenger got drunk.
  
  
• We were able to get on an airplane without eying the other passengers suspiciously. And once the plane took off, all we had to worry about was the quality of the food--or lack thereof.
  
  
• The purpose of flight attendants was to hand out little bags of peanuts and fluff our pillows, not to serve as the last line of defense for the nation.
  
  
• Department of Homeland Security? Never heard of it. What's it do?
  
  
• Terrorism was something that always happened some place else.
  
  
• We weren't afraid of our mail, Anthrax was just a loud band, and if we saw white powder somewhere, we automatically assumed someone had spilled coffe creamer.
  
  
• People would look at you funny if you took your shoes off in the security line at the airport, and hair gel wasn't treated as a lethal weapon.
  
  
• Afghanistan? Never heard of it. Where is it? And what's a Taliban?
  
  
• No one had ever heard of Shanksville, Pennsylvania. And certainly no one in Shanksville had any reason to suspect that anyone ever would.
  
  
• The big story in the news was the disappearance of a government intern Chandra Levy whose boyfriend happened to be a married congressman. Undoubtedly, this sordid tale would continue to dominate headlines for the foreseeable future.
  
  
• The second biggest story of early September was the series of shark attacks along the east coast of the U.S. Two people were dead in what was considered a frightening death toll.
  
  
• If we went downtown, the only thing we worried about was getting mugged.
  
  
• The Oklahoma City bombing of 1995 was the worst act of terrorism on U.S. soil, and April 19 would always be associated with that unimaginable horror.
  
  
• If a plane had crashed on September 10, our first thought would have been, "Gee, what a horrible accident."
  
  
• The only emotion we felt when we had to pull over for a firetruck was annoyance.
  
  
• We didn't think twice about getting on the subway, we paid no attention to who else might be on the train with us, nor did we run for our lives if we spotted a lost backpack.
  
  
• Several thousand tourists enjoyed the spectacular view from the observation deck of the World Trade Center today. Assuming it doesn't rain, several thousand more will enjoy it tomorrow.
  
  
• You could look at a crisp blue sky and marvel at its simple beauty.
  
  
• Most of all, it was a day to feel good about the future and our place in the world. After all, this was the United States of America, and everyone loved us.

Yes, September 10, 2001 was quite a day.

Happy Labor Day...?

Proof Positive

I have long maintained that Michele Bachman is batshit crazy. Now I finally have photographic proof to support my argument.

Teason by Any Other Name

Texas Governor Rick Perry, who is now a candidate for the Republican presidential nomination, has accused Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke of "treasonous behavior."

Really? And threatening to have Texas secede from the United States, as Perry did a couple of years ago, is NOT treason?

I think the Governor needs to to look up the definition of the word.

Swear Me In

Citizen Kane, The Sequel

A Little Divine Vengeance Never Hurt Anyone

Televangelist and backup Looney Tunes singer Pat Robertson says that God will destroy America because of the nation's acceptance of gay marriage. Uh-huh, sure, Pat. But riddle me this: Canada has legalized same sex marriages, and Canada hasn't been smited (smitten?) yet.

Most nations in Europe have also legalized it. But so far The Netherlands has not been swallowed up by lava from an erupting super volcano, nor have plagues of locusts have overrun Belgium. Even the first born sons of Portugal are still alive.

While we're at it, perhaps we should take a quick look at Pat's track record on apocalyptic predictions of divine vengeance. Once example that comes to mind is the town of Dover, Pennsylvania. Back in 2005, eight members of the school board who tried to introduce the teaching of intelligent design to the curriculum were defeated in their bid for reelection. Robertson quickly weighed in by saying that God would unleash his wrath upon the community for this unholy turn of democracy.

That was 2075 days ago. At last check, the people of Dover had not yet been transformed into pillars of salt.

Another Symptom of Our Failed Health Care System

The United States should be seriously embarrassed by this story. We have almost 50 million Americans without access to affordable health care. Even worse, many who DO have insurance still end up having to fight to have some procedures covered. WTF kind of nation treats its citizens with such criminal indifference?

Yet foreign terrorists are talking about have suicide explosives surgically implanted in their bodies. Now THOSE are some serious healthcare plans!

Is God a Psychopath?

Hmmm.... Call it a hunch, but I think this guy's a little angry.