At Least He's Not Hitting on Them

Well, Vulcans Are Known forTheir Problem Solving Skills

Here Birdy, Birdy, Birdy.....

Scientists have discovered the fossils of a previously unknown flying reptile that lived 115 million years ago. Called a pterosaur, it ruled the skies during the age of the dinosaurs. Well, at least the experts say the creature lived that long ago. But that's only because they base their conjectures on silly things like a careful examination of the evidence, and a thorough understanding of silly things like geology, paleontology, and a whole bunch of other ologies too numerous to mention.

On the other hand, if you're a Bible totin' creationist, it's obvious that the pterosaur lived only 6,000 years ago and Fred Flintstone kept one in a cage hanging in his living room.

The Perfect Solution to Our Economic Woes

Eh?

In an unprecedented move, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has suspended his nation's Parliament in a bid to stay in power. Had it stayed in session, the Parliament was apparently set to deliver a no-confidence vote which would have forced Harper from power.

No word on whether President Bush plans to invade Canada to restore democracy.

Don't laugh. Like the Cylons, we have a plan.

Taking Responsibility

Give Me Some of That Old Time Religion

Conservative Episcopalians, upset by the increasingly liberal leanings of the mother church, have now officially formed their own separate church. The Episcopalian church is the American branch of the Church of England. The Church of England, in turn, was created by King Henry VIII in the 17th century after the Pope refused to give him permission to divorce his first wife.

Presumably that means that this new conservative religious group is returning to the early teachings of the Church of England. That means easy divorces, and failing that, beheading your wife so you can marry your mistress.

Hmmm.... Now that sounds like my kind of church!

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See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Ho, Ho, Ho

Doing Our Civic Duty

Christmas, the Final Frontier

If you're a godless pagan such as I myself, this time of the year always presents special challenges. How do you share holiday wishes without compromising your own beliefs (or lack there of), while at the same time trying not to come across as some sort of Scrooge who's completely devoid of any moral standards and is into beastiality?

Well, here's the perfect solution: A series of non-denominational holiday cards featuring photos taken by the Hubble Space Telescope. The images are free and designed to be downloaded. From there you can either use your own printer, or take the CD to a photo store for a professional look.

Now if you'll excuse me, my neighbor's goat looks kinda hot today.

D'OH!

In an interview with ABC News' Charlie Gibson, President Bush says that his biggest regret was the intelligence failure over Iraq. He went on to say that while it was unfortunate, there were a lot of people who agreed with the flawed intelligence.

What Bush conveniently forgot to mention, however, that there were also a lot of people in the intelligence communities of both America and Britain that doubted that same information. And rather than listening to them, the Bush administration chose to either ignore them or brand them as unpatriotic. Also, no word on whether Bush "regrets" trying to falsely connect Saddam to the 9/11 attacks.

But hey, that's okay. It's not like any of that caused the deaths of almost 5,000 American service members, the lifelong maimings of thousands more, the deaths tens of thousands of Iraqi civilians, the destabilization of the entire Middle East, the rise of Iran, and the waste of over a trillion dollars (and counting).

Yeah, it's probably all just a coincidence.

Definition of a Lame Duck

A Cosmic Journey

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Bucket

Merry Christmas & Don't Trip Over the Bodies

Known as Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving is considered by many in retail as the busiest shopping day of the year. And despite all the dire economic news of the last several months, shoppers crowded stores as early as 5 A.M.

In one particularly heartwarming tale, a Wal-Mart employee in New York was literally trampled to death by the crowd that surged through the doors when the store opened. Other employees who tried to help him were also knocked around by the stampede of shoppers. Even the police officers who tried to restore order were being jostled.

Many people are horrified by what happened. On the other hand, the store was selling 50" plasma TV's for $798, so why let a dead guy spoil the fun?

If Only We Could Blame the Klingons

The First Thanksgiving

Telling Good from Evil

Can YOU live up to God's impossible standards?

Found @ Too Many Tribbles

Now Imagine What McCain Would Look Like