Friday, November 07, 2008
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Live from New York....
Saturday Night Live has had a remarkable run this fall with its election parodies. Here's a montage of some of their best moments, not only since last August, but going back several years.
A Newspaper, A Newspaper,
My Kingdom for a Newspaper
Newspapers nowadays are always complaining about declining circulation and how they're losing readers to the internet. As a result, some have actually gone out of business, and many others are either laying off newsroom staff or offering them early retirement packages. Given this reality, you would think that newspapers would jump at any opportunity to increase circulation, however briefly.
Well, if you tried to buy a paper yesterday, hopefully you had better luck than I did.
I buy a Washington Post and USAToday every day. It's part of my routine. It's sacrosanct. If I don't have a newspaper to read between fares, I may as well not be wearing pants. Either way, things just don't feel right.
I tried to buy both papers during my usual 10 AM pit stop. The gas station was sold out, so I tried the 7-11 next door. Also sold out. Went across the street to a CVS. Again, sold out. Tried the grocery store. Sold out. Tried Starbucks. Sold out, but plenty of overpriced coffee. Went back to the metro station where there are approximately umpteen million newspaper boxes. All of them were empty.
During the course of the day I must have tried at least a dozen other places, and there simply wasn't a copy of the Post or USAToday to be found. I mentioned this to a passenger, and he had encountered the same difficulty downtown.
That was the situation yesterday here in the DC area. I'm guessing the same was true across the country.
There's general agreement that Obama's election was historic. So why didn't newspapers print extra copies? Didn't they realize that a lot more people would be looking for one, either to read for more news on the election, or to hold on to as a keepsake? Or were the newspaper employees who might otherwise have made that decision laid off last month? Perhaps a few readers might even have fallen back in the habit of buying a paper every day.
One thing's for sure: It gets really drafty driving without pants.
Well, if you tried to buy a paper yesterday, hopefully you had better luck than I did.
I buy a Washington Post and USAToday every day. It's part of my routine. It's sacrosanct. If I don't have a newspaper to read between fares, I may as well not be wearing pants. Either way, things just don't feel right.
I tried to buy both papers during my usual 10 AM pit stop. The gas station was sold out, so I tried the 7-11 next door. Also sold out. Went across the street to a CVS. Again, sold out. Tried the grocery store. Sold out. Tried Starbucks. Sold out, but plenty of overpriced coffee. Went back to the metro station where there are approximately umpteen million newspaper boxes. All of them were empty.
During the course of the day I must have tried at least a dozen other places, and there simply wasn't a copy of the Post or USAToday to be found. I mentioned this to a passenger, and he had encountered the same difficulty downtown.
That was the situation yesterday here in the DC area. I'm guessing the same was true across the country.
There's general agreement that Obama's election was historic. So why didn't newspapers print extra copies? Didn't they realize that a lot more people would be looking for one, either to read for more news on the election, or to hold on to as a keepsake? Or were the newspaper employees who might otherwise have made that decision laid off last month? Perhaps a few readers might even have fallen back in the habit of buying a paper every day.
One thing's for sure: It gets really drafty driving without pants.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
In & Out
Every January 1 the Washington Post publishes a list of what's in & what's out. And while today may not be New Year's Day, it nonetheless marks the beginning of something new. Here's a special election edition of the In & Out List.
'Splaining the Electoral College
This might be a good time to give an explanation of how the electoral college works.
Each state's number of electoral votes is based on its total number of senators and congressional representatives. Since representatives are distributed according to population (though even the smallest states get at least one), more populous states have more electoral votes at stake. Additionally, Washington, DC--though not a state--has three electoral votes. U.S. territories like Puerto Rico, Guam, and Iraq, however, don't have any.
Since there are 435 members of the House of Representatives and 100 Senators, there are a total of 538 electoral votes (including DC's) in play during a presidential election. A simple majority of 270 is needed to win.
In almost every state, the electoral votes are a winner-take-all proposition. Nebraska and Maine are the exceptions. In those states one electoral vote goes to the winner of each individual congressional district, and the remaining two go to the winner of the entire state. At this point it looks like McCain won all five electoral votes in Nebraska and Obama won all four in Maine.
Not complicated enough? Well, then get a load of this: When you vote for President in the United States, the ballot will say something along the lines of "Electors for John McCain" or "Electors for Barack Obama." That's because those so-called electoral votes consist of actual flesh and blood people. They're usually the top party officials within each states, and they're actually the ones who will pick the next President.
And you thought we did that yesterday, didn't you?
The electors will gather, usually in the various state capitals, in December to cast their votes. Some states have passed laws binding their votes, but that has never been challenged in court. So theoretically, at least, they could vote for whoever the hell they want. Occasionally in the past someone has gone rogue, but it has never been enough of a problem to throw an election.
Their votes are then sealed and sent to Congress. In January, after the new Congressional members are seated, the ballots are opened. And THAT'S when our new President becomes official.
F*cked up? Yes. But you have to keep in mind that our Founding Fathers wrote the Constitution before marijuana became illegal.
Each state's number of electoral votes is based on its total number of senators and congressional representatives. Since representatives are distributed according to population (though even the smallest states get at least one), more populous states have more electoral votes at stake. Additionally, Washington, DC--though not a state--has three electoral votes. U.S. territories like Puerto Rico, Guam, and Iraq, however, don't have any.
Since there are 435 members of the House of Representatives and 100 Senators, there are a total of 538 electoral votes (including DC's) in play during a presidential election. A simple majority of 270 is needed to win.
In almost every state, the electoral votes are a winner-take-all proposition. Nebraska and Maine are the exceptions. In those states one electoral vote goes to the winner of each individual congressional district, and the remaining two go to the winner of the entire state. At this point it looks like McCain won all five electoral votes in Nebraska and Obama won all four in Maine.
Not complicated enough? Well, then get a load of this: When you vote for President in the United States, the ballot will say something along the lines of "Electors for John McCain" or "Electors for Barack Obama." That's because those so-called electoral votes consist of actual flesh and blood people. They're usually the top party officials within each states, and they're actually the ones who will pick the next President.
And you thought we did that yesterday, didn't you?
The electors will gather, usually in the various state capitals, in December to cast their votes. Some states have passed laws binding their votes, but that has never been challenged in court. So theoretically, at least, they could vote for whoever the hell they want. Occasionally in the past someone has gone rogue, but it has never been enough of a problem to throw an election.
Their votes are then sealed and sent to Congress. In January, after the new Congressional members are seated, the ballots are opened. And THAT'S when our new President becomes official.
F*cked up? Yes. But you have to keep in mind that our Founding Fathers wrote the Constitution before marijuana became illegal.
Changes
You know what's really amazing about the outcome of this election? If Obama had tried running for office just 50 years ago, there were plenty of places where the cops would have sicced police dogs on him.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
This Race Is Now Over
CNN has now projected Ohio for Obama, as well as New Mexico. Those two states alone represent 25 electoral votes that had gone to Bush in 2004. Since it's a safe bet that all the states that went Democratic four years ago will again go that way, that would mean that Obama has now won.
Returns so Far
At this point CNN's projections are showing Obama with a 174-64 electoral vote lead. It's important to note, however, that so far none of the states with projected results have switched sides compared to how they voted in 2004. And since the final total four years ago was 286-252, that only requires a switch of 17 electoral votes (270 is needed to win). This also assumes, however, that none of the Democratic states from 2004 will go Republican this year.
If either Florida OR Ohio switch sides, that would certainly make the difference. However, no projections on either one so far.
While the polls have been closed for more than two hours in Virginia, it also remains up in the air. And here's a remarkable statistic: By 10 AM almost 50% of the eligible voters in Virginia had voted.
Yeah, and every one of them was in front of me at 6:30.
If either Florida OR Ohio switch sides, that would certainly make the difference. However, no projections on either one so far.
While the polls have been closed for more than two hours in Virginia, it also remains up in the air. And here's a remarkable statistic: By 10 AM almost 50% of the eligible voters in Virginia had voted.
Yeah, and every one of them was in front of me at 6:30.
Waiting on the First Returns
Polls in Virginia are now closed. However, anyone in line at 7 PM will still be able to vote. Given the heavy turnout, there likely won't be any returns for a while. Still, since Virginia is among the first states to have polls close, it will no doubt be among the first to have returns come in.
If the state does in fact go for Obama (as the polls suggest it will), this election will be over. It's not that Virginia's 13 electoral votes are a major prize. Rather, it's because Virginia has not gone democratic in a presidential election since 1964 when it went for Lyndon Johnson. If Virginia changes now, it will signal a national trend that favors the Democrats.
Incidentally, the Republican that lost the 1964 election was Barry Goldwater, a Senator from the state of Arizona. Goldwater returned to the Senate in 1968, and held the seat until he retired in 1986. And guess who replaced him? None other than John McCain himself. That may not quite qualify as irony, but it will still be good for a few laughs.
I voted at 6:30 this morning.... Well, more precisely, I arrived at my polling place at 6:30. I didn't actually get to vote till almost 7:00.
When I arrived at my precinct, there must have been over 200 people in line. That immediately shot my theory that by voting early I'd avoid the crowds straight to hell. I overheard one of the election volunteers that there were already 15 people in line when they arrived at 5 AM (the polls opened at 6:00). Despite the heavy turnout, they did a reasonable job with crowd control, however.
In 2004 I had to wait about 45 minutes in a much shorter line, and we were outside for much of the time. This time they allowed us to queue up inside. Folded tables had been set up to snake the main line through the auditorium. Then near the end we were divided into three shorter lines depending on the first letter of your last name.
Most people opted for the paper ballots (as did I) since there was only one touchscreen voting machine, and that had its own little separate line.
The paper ballot was a little confusing. I think I may have ended up voting for Pat Buchanan.
If the state does in fact go for Obama (as the polls suggest it will), this election will be over. It's not that Virginia's 13 electoral votes are a major prize. Rather, it's because Virginia has not gone democratic in a presidential election since 1964 when it went for Lyndon Johnson. If Virginia changes now, it will signal a national trend that favors the Democrats.
Incidentally, the Republican that lost the 1964 election was Barry Goldwater, a Senator from the state of Arizona. Goldwater returned to the Senate in 1968, and held the seat until he retired in 1986. And guess who replaced him? None other than John McCain himself. That may not quite qualify as irony, but it will still be good for a few laughs.
I voted at 6:30 this morning.... Well, more precisely, I arrived at my polling place at 6:30. I didn't actually get to vote till almost 7:00.
When I arrived at my precinct, there must have been over 200 people in line. That immediately shot my theory that by voting early I'd avoid the crowds straight to hell. I overheard one of the election volunteers that there were already 15 people in line when they arrived at 5 AM (the polls opened at 6:00). Despite the heavy turnout, they did a reasonable job with crowd control, however.
In 2004 I had to wait about 45 minutes in a much shorter line, and we were outside for much of the time. This time they allowed us to queue up inside. Folded tables had been set up to snake the main line through the auditorium. Then near the end we were divided into three shorter lines depending on the first letter of your last name.
Most people opted for the paper ballots (as did I) since there was only one touchscreen voting machine, and that had its own little separate line.
The paper ballot was a little confusing. I think I may have ended up voting for Pat Buchanan.
Monday, November 03, 2008
McCain & Palin Address the Nation
Last Wednesday night Barack Obama addressed the nation. This past Saturday, John McCain and Tina Fey--er, I mean Sarah Palin--did the same.
According to Republican Strategists,
John McCain Is a Dangerous Madman
Back in the year 2000, when Bush and McCain were locked in a tight race for the nomination, the same people that are now spreading various rumors about Obama told us that McCain was mentally unstable because of his years as a POW. Then just before the South Carolina primary they started another rumor that McCain had fathered a child by a black woman. They also circulated stories that McCain was gay.
So..... IF these people lied about McCain's mental health eight years ago, why should we believe their current warnings about Obama?
On the other hand, IF they're telling the truth about Obama, then they must have been telling the truth in 2000, which raises an interesting question: Is McCain cured, or is he still crazy?
I for one am not willing to take a chance on putting a crazed adulterous homosexual madman in the White House.
So..... IF these people lied about McCain's mental health eight years ago, why should we believe their current warnings about Obama?
On the other hand, IF they're telling the truth about Obama, then they must have been telling the truth in 2000, which raises an interesting question: Is McCain cured, or is he still crazy?
I for one am not willing to take a chance on putting a crazed adulterous homosexual madman in the White House.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Does Anyone Really Know What Time It Is?
The legendary semi-annual changing of the clocks took place last night, and by now all of America should be on standard time. Many people hate doing this little ritual, and have argued that the U.S. is the only country that does it.
That's simply not true.
In fact, most of the industrial world changes their clocks twice a year. One notable exception: Japan. They only did it for a few years immediately after WWII when the evil American occupiers forced them to do so. As soon as we left, the Japanese stopped changing their clocks.
Another noticeable exception is China. Not only do they not change their clocks, they don't even observe time zones. So when it's a bright sunshiny 9 A.M. in Beijing, it's also 9 A.M. and in the middle of the night in western China.
When it comes to being a maverick, John McCain has nothing on Nepal. That tiny country not only remains on standard time year round, but also stays 15 minutes behind everyone else. In other words, if it's noon here in D.C., it's actually 9:45 PM in Kathmandu.
In Russia, Stalin once imposed Daylight Savings Time on the country and apparently forgot to end it. As a result, the entire nation remained on DST for 60 years.
And in Iran, well, it just depends on who's running the place at any given moment.
In the U.S., Arizona and Hawaii remain on standard time year round. Until 2005, Indiana allowed it's individual counties to determine whether they wanted to change their clocks (that practice had a lot to do with the fact that their northern counties are suburbs of Chicago, which is in the central time zone while most of Indiana is in the earstern zone). Then there was the winter of 1975/1976, when the U.S. decided to pass up switching to standard time entirely.
One of the few nations that has never wavered in its support of changing the clocks is Britain. They've been doing it faithfully ever since the whole idea started during WWI.
That's simply not true.
In fact, most of the industrial world changes their clocks twice a year. One notable exception: Japan. They only did it for a few years immediately after WWII when the evil American occupiers forced them to do so. As soon as we left, the Japanese stopped changing their clocks.
Another noticeable exception is China. Not only do they not change their clocks, they don't even observe time zones. So when it's a bright sunshiny 9 A.M. in Beijing, it's also 9 A.M. and in the middle of the night in western China.
When it comes to being a maverick, John McCain has nothing on Nepal. That tiny country not only remains on standard time year round, but also stays 15 minutes behind everyone else. In other words, if it's noon here in D.C., it's actually 9:45 PM in Kathmandu.
In Russia, Stalin once imposed Daylight Savings Time on the country and apparently forgot to end it. As a result, the entire nation remained on DST for 60 years.
And in Iran, well, it just depends on who's running the place at any given moment.
In the U.S., Arizona and Hawaii remain on standard time year round. Until 2005, Indiana allowed it's individual counties to determine whether they wanted to change their clocks (that practice had a lot to do with the fact that their northern counties are suburbs of Chicago, which is in the central time zone while most of Indiana is in the earstern zone). Then there was the winter of 1975/1976, when the U.S. decided to pass up switching to standard time entirely.
One of the few nations that has never wavered in its support of changing the clocks is Britain. They've been doing it faithfully ever since the whole idea started during WWI.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
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