Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Something New to Worry About
Biologists are concerned about a mysterious ailment that is killing off bats in the Northeast. The chief symptom seems to be a white fungus that appears on stricken bats' noses, but beyond that, the cause remains a mystery.
So why should we be concerned if there are no more bats? Well, for one thing, a single bat can eat a pound of insects in a week. If there are no bats, then that means more bugs and pests. That would be of major concern in agricultural areas. An absence of bats would also carry dire consequences for baseball.
Likewise, why should we care if there are no more polar bears in the world, or bees, or penguins?
Well, perhaps because if other species begin disappearing, it may only be a matter of time before the spreading extinctions work their way up to the top of the food chain.
And wouldn't that be a pisser?
So why should we be concerned if there are no more bats? Well, for one thing, a single bat can eat a pound of insects in a week. If there are no bats, then that means more bugs and pests. That would be of major concern in agricultural areas. An absence of bats would also carry dire consequences for baseball.
Likewise, why should we care if there are no more polar bears in the world, or bees, or penguins?
Well, perhaps because if other species begin disappearing, it may only be a matter of time before the spreading extinctions work their way up to the top of the food chain.
And wouldn't that be a pisser?
Stop Staring at My Bumper Sticker & Just Drive, You Jerk
A new study by The Department of People Who Do Silly Studies shows that drivers who have bumper stickers, window stickers, or personalized license plates are more likely to be aggressive in their driving habits. And it doesn't seem to matter whether the sticker's message is positive ("My kid is an honor roll student") or negative ("My kid can beat up your snot-nosed honor roll student") in nature.
The theory is that people who adorn their vehicles with personal messages are essentially marking their territory. Therefore, they're more likely to take any perceived infringement on their territory personally. And the more such markers a car has, the more likely the driver is to act in an aggressive manner.
People just need to calm down and mark their territories the way I do. Just piss on the tires.
The theory is that people who adorn their vehicles with personal messages are essentially marking their territory. Therefore, they're more likely to take any perceived infringement on their territory personally. And the more such markers a car has, the more likely the driver is to act in an aggressive manner.
People just need to calm down and mark their territories the way I do. Just piss on the tires.
Monday, July 07, 2008
Time for a Timetable?
Anytime anyone opposed to the Iraq war has suggested setting a timetable for withdrawal, the Bush administration has condemned them as being irresponsible, or unpatriotic, or caving in to the enemy, or being a pussy. Setting such a timetable would only embolden the terrorists, according to our fearless leader.
Well, now there's yet someone else saying the U.S. should set a timetable for withdrawal. So who is this latest wuss who dares challenge the wizard--er, I mean, who dares challenge President Bush? Well, no, it's not Obama. And it's certainly not John McCain. For that matter, it's not any American political figure.
Rather, it's none other than Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki suggesting that a timetable is necessary. His comment came during a meeting with ambassadors from other Arab nations, and is tied to the current negotiations about what role the U.S. military will have in Iraq once the current United Nations mandate expires on December 31.
Well, now there's yet someone else saying the U.S. should set a timetable for withdrawal. So who is this latest wuss who dares challenge the wizard--er, I mean, who dares challenge President Bush? Well, no, it's not Obama. And it's certainly not John McCain. For that matter, it's not any American political figure.
Rather, it's none other than Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki suggesting that a timetable is necessary. His comment came during a meeting with ambassadors from other Arab nations, and is tied to the current negotiations about what role the U.S. military will have in Iraq once the current United Nations mandate expires on December 31.
Sunday, July 06, 2008
The Christian Taliban Strikes Again
Where do you go when you need a condom? A drug store? Well, be careful which one you go to.
An increasing number of so-called pro-life pharmacies are opening across the country. And they don't stock such sinful products as condoms, birth control pills, and morning after pills. Some of them don't even stock tobacco products or rolling papers.
They are opening because over the last few years there have been a number of cases in which pharmacists have been fired for refusing to fill doctors' prescriptions for such products. Christian conservatives feel that such pharmacists are entitled to exercise their so-called "rights of conscience."
On the other hand, what gives these people the right to impose THEIR religious beliefs on everyone else? If you feel that damn strongly about your beliefs, then you shouldn't enter a profession in which you'll end up interfering with everyone else's freedoms.
Unless I'm mistaken, that's the kind of narrow minded repressive thinking that gave rise to the Taliban in Afghanistan: Regardless of YOUR personal beliefs or the standards of society as a whole, I'm going to shove MY religion down your throat whether you like or not. And if you have a problem with that, I'll stone your sinful ass to death.
There's simply no room for that sort of oppression in a free society.
An increasing number of so-called pro-life pharmacies are opening across the country. And they don't stock such sinful products as condoms, birth control pills, and morning after pills. Some of them don't even stock tobacco products or rolling papers.
They are opening because over the last few years there have been a number of cases in which pharmacists have been fired for refusing to fill doctors' prescriptions for such products. Christian conservatives feel that such pharmacists are entitled to exercise their so-called "rights of conscience."
On the other hand, what gives these people the right to impose THEIR religious beliefs on everyone else? If you feel that damn strongly about your beliefs, then you shouldn't enter a profession in which you'll end up interfering with everyone else's freedoms.
Unless I'm mistaken, that's the kind of narrow minded repressive thinking that gave rise to the Taliban in Afghanistan: Regardless of YOUR personal beliefs or the standards of society as a whole, I'm going to shove MY religion down your throat whether you like or not. And if you have a problem with that, I'll stone your sinful ass to death.
There's simply no room for that sort of oppression in a free society.
Don't Break the China
Speaking during a visit to Tokyo, President Bush defended his decision to attend the opening ceremonies of the upcoming Beijing Olympics. He had been under pressure to skip the event--as many other world leaders are already doing--because of China's ongoing human rights abuses. According to Bush, "not going to the opening ceremony for the games would be an affront to the Chinese people."
Yeah, heaven forbid we should piss off the Chinese. They might begin sending us poisoned pet food and lead contaminated products.
Yeah, heaven forbid we should piss off the Chinese. They might begin sending us poisoned pet food and lead contaminated products.
A Slice Would Be Nice
According to a new scientific study, watermelon contains an ingredient that provides Viagra-like benefits for men.
On the downside, women aren't too thrilled about constantly having the seeds spit in their faces during sex.
On the downside, women aren't too thrilled about constantly having the seeds spit in their faces during sex.
The Bush-Cheney Legacy
So what will history show as the Bush-Cheney legacy? John McLaughlin of The McLaughlin Group came up with the following list:
1) GOP House majority goneNow THAT'S something to be proud of!
2) Tanked the dollar's value
3) Red ink in federal budget
4) U.S./Iraq quagmire
5) U.S. recession & inflation
6) Then skedaddled out of town
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Friday, July 04, 2008
Thursday, July 03, 2008
The Day the Earth Stood Still.... Dude
Yesterday I mentioned having seen the trailer for the remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still. Here it is:
And I'm sorry, but if Keanu Reeves were to walk up and tell me that the world was about to end, I'd burst out laughing. I just can't take him seriously.
And I'm sorry, but if Keanu Reeves were to walk up and tell me that the world was about to end, I'd burst out laughing. I just can't take him seriously.
Living on the Edge
It was 31 years ago that NASA launched two space probes towards the outer planets of our humble little solar system. After sending back the first detailed images of Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, and yes, Uranus.Yes, pictures of Uranus are circulating on the internets at this very moment. Now aren't you embarrassed?
Anyway, after passing their respective targets the two craft went in different directions. Voyager 1 turned "north" while Voyager 2 went "south."
The probes are now passing through the heliosheath, which is the outer boundary of our solar system. It's the area where the Sun's solar winds cease and true interstellar space begins. What has surprised scientists is that edges of our solar system are essentially "dented," as opposed to being perfectly round. Voyager 2 encountered the southern boundary 7.8 billion from the Sun, while Voyager 1 did so at a distance of 8.8 billion miles. It should also be noted that these distances are each more than three times the distance of Pluto from the sun.
NASA is currently preparing a mission to send insurance adjusters--hopefully those GEICO cavemen--to assess the dent. It remains unclear who will pay for the damage.
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