It's All In The Engineering

A bridge in China has collapsed. At least 22 people are dead, and another 46 are still missing.

There has been a lot of talk lately about China's rapidly growing economy, and some have even suggested that the communist country is overtaking the United States in terms of manufacturing and technological know-how. That may or may not be true, but this incident clearly demonstrates that at least in one area, we still beat the Chinese hands down: We know how to how to engineer OUR bridges so that fewer people die when THEY collapse.

Mammal Or Fish? The Science Is Still Out On That

In a surprise move, top Bush adviser Karl "Lord Voldemort" Rove has announced he is leaving the White House. He claims this has nothing to do with the various investigations underway. Rove also admits that he doesn't think his departure will end those inquiries. In fact, Rove even said of his situation, "I noticed the other day some Democratic staffers were quoted calling me the big fish. Well, I'm Moby Dick and they're after me."

Someone needs to tell him that whales are actually mammals.... Or would such criticism amount to giving in to the terrorists?

Brother, Can You Spare A Dime? How About A Billion?

A few years ago mortgage lenders greatly loosened their lending standards. It eventually got to the point where even people with bad credit were able to buy houses with no money down. Many of those loans were structured so that for the first few years the payments would be low, then eventually increase.

As those increases have begun to kick in, people have found themselves unable to keep up. As they began defaulting, the sudden increase in bad loans began to drag lenders under. Several have, in fact, failed entirely because of those bad loans.

The situation has now gotten to the point where the crisis is no longer just affecting the housing market, but spreading to the economy as a whole. Over the last few days even the stock market began to suffer as this mess reached crisis proportions.

So how was a total financial meltdown finally averted? FOREIGN banks stepped in yesterday and put up a total of $323 billion to shore up America's banking system.

WOW!!! If that's not embarrassing, I don't know what is. Well, aside from vowing to "go it alone" in Iraq, then blaming the rest of the world for the mess we made because they don't want to get involved.

Frankensteers

Some farmers have begun raising experimental "yattle" as an alternative to traditional cattle. Yattle are actually a cross of cows and yaks. The hybrids have oddly angled horns, thick coats, naturally low cholesterol meat, and run on electric motors part of the time.

Into The Fire

For anyone who still has their head up their tuckus about global warming, the United Nations has just issued a report that's worth taking a look at. Basically, it says that all the wild weather we've seen around the world this year is only going to get worse. From the recent flooding in much of England, to the extreme heat waves that have hit central Europe, to the severe storms that have wreaked havoc in China, to the melting ice caps, and to the drought that is affecting much of the United States, it is becoming obvious that the Earth's climate is undergoing major changes.

Recently compiled statistics show that 11 of the warmest years on record have occurred since 1994. And things aren't improving in that regard, as January and April of this year also set global temperature records.

So what can we do at this point? According to a book by James Lovelock, it's already too late. According to him, even if man somehow succeeded in ending all carbon emissions as of tomorrow, it wouldn't matter. The effects of global warming are simply irreversible at this point. At best, says Lovelock, we can only hope to slightly mitigate the effects. Interestingly, he argues that the only hope we have of accomplishing even that much is a heavy investment in nuclear energy.

Yep, nuke power. Lovelock says that the danger posed by nuclear power and the resulting waste is actually far less than the damage that would be caused by the release of that much more carbon into the atmosphere.

Nor is Lovelock a big fan of wind farms or ethanol. His argument there is that by cutting down forests to make room for wind turbines and crops, we're actually cutting our own throats because we're reducing the Earth's capacity to convert CO2 back into oxygen.

So what to do at this point? Despite Lovelock's objections, I plan to invest heavily in alcohol.... Just not for my car.

Bridge In Troubled Waters

It now looks like the death toll in that Minnesota bridge collapse will end up being about a dozen. That's great news.... Unless, of course, you happen to be one of the dozen. Then it's probably not going to matter a whole lot to you on a personal level.

Authorities say that one reason for the new figure is that the river level was much lower than normal due to a prolonged drought. Also, the fact that the bridge was being worked on--only two of the four lanes were open in each direction--limited the number of cars that were actually on the structure when it gave way.

One of the most memorable images of the disaster was that of the stranded school bus. Here's an account of what it was like on the bus when it went down, and how everyone managed to get out.

Although the lower death toll may have come as a relief, not all the news from the scene of the collapse is good. In a disturbing development, President Bush has given his word to "make sure... that bridge gets rebuilt as quickly as possible."

Given this administration's track record in rebuilding Iraq and New Orleans, the people of Minneapolis should have their new bridge around 2075 or so.

Time To Send A Message To Exxon

Even though the price of crude oil is at near-record prices, the cost of gasoline has been falling. Experts say this apparent contradiction is because refineries that were down earlier this year due to maintenance or--in some cases--flooding, are now back online and functioning at capacity.

So where are all the pontificating politicians who emerge from the woodwork whenever gas prices are spiking? Why aren't they out there hunting down camera crews and dramatically calling for investigations of price fixing?

I for one am sick and tired of Big Oil taking advantage of the ample supplies of gasoline to unfairly lower prices. I propose that on Thursday, August 9, we show our disgust with the current state of affairs by unnecessarily driving around and filling up our tanks.

Please pass this along to your friends.

Too Bad Steroids Shrank His Testicles To The Size Of Peas

Congratulations to Barry Bonds on his 755th home run. With that hit in San Diego last night, the 43 year old slugger tied Hank Aaron's record and assured his place in the Pharmaceutical Hall of Fame.

Sometimes It Doesn't Take A Rocket Scientist

The first concerns about the I-35W bridge that collapsed in Minnesota were raised by inspectors back in 1990. Those early problems were either dismissed or said to be under control. Warnings continued to be ignored until the bridge failed during Wednesday's rush hour, killing dozens of motorists.

Who the hell was in charge of the bridge's safety? NASA management?

Just Don't Piss Them Off

Many public schools and universities are granting Muslim students special treatment. At George Mason University in Virginia, Muslims using a so-called "meditation space" laid out prayer rugs, then separated the male worshipers from the female ones. Even non Muslim students using the facility were asked to abide by the gender separation rule.

Some argue that the use of public facilities for such things violates the separation of church and state rule, and is nothing short of sexual discrimination.

On the other hand, you really can't blame the administrators at George Mason. They're probably just afraid of getting blown up.

By The Numbers

Seventy six American troops died in Iraq in July, the lowest in eight months. A number of supporters of the war have pointed at that statistic as evidence that the troop surge is working.

On the other hand, the number of Iraqi civilians killed last month is up 33% compared to June. For some reason, the war's supporters are NOT citing that particular total as evidence the troop surge is working.

Meanwhile, at least 142 Iraqis were killed yesterday in a pair of suicide bombings in Baghdad. In response, a large Sunni bloc has quit the Iraqi cabinet and sent the country's government into an even worse state of disarray.