What? The Curtains?

Time to Get in the Holiday Spirit

Dirty Things You Can Only Say on Thanksgiving Day

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. That's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

Thanksgiving, 2010 Style

Maybe She Didn't Have a Compass Handy

Once again the 'lamestream media' is picking on Sarah Palin, all because she got confused about which Korea is our ally and which one is run by the crazy lunatic dictator who sells nuclear bombs on eBay. So what if, as President, she might order the United States Air Force to bomb the wrong country? Those kind of things sometimes happen between friends, and afterwards everyone sits down and laughs about it.

Besides, it's not like she can see either Korea from her front porch.

Is That a Drumstick in Your Pocketor Are You Just Happy to See Me?

As we approach the busiest U.S. travel days of the year, there is a massive controversy brewing over the searches conducted at airports. There are rumors that some protesters will go as far as to deliberately slow down the system.

What is wrong with people? Would you rather undergo a rigorous pat-down or increase your odds of getting blown out of the sky by some guy with exploding underwear? If you want to gamble, fine, go to Vegas. Just don't gamble with the lives of everyone else on the plane. That is NOT your right, but it's exactly what you're doing with these protests.

This story is nothing more than the product of more overblown obsessive media hype. It's this month's equivalent of a mosque at Ground Zero or a missing blond in Aruba.

What Would Happen if All Atheists Left America?

Saying Thanks

The recent plot to bomb Washington, DC's Metro system was uncovered because a Muslim informant went to the FBI. Also, the plot involving cargo bombs on planes was revealed by a Muslim member of Al Qaeda who surrendered himself to Saudi Arabian authorities. The Saudi government, which is crawling with Muslims, then alerted the United States.

So how should we thank all these people who helped save innocent American lives? I know! Let's let them build a mosque at Ground Zero!

It's just a matter of time until Ken Cuccinelli files a lawsuit against those alarmist dinosaurs.