Friday, October 30, 2009

Remembering October 30, 2008

Who among us will ever forget the terrible events that befell mankind exactly a year ago today? Here is an eyewitness account of that terrible assault upon our world.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Happy Halloween

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Is That a Communion Wafer in Your Pocket
Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

Faced with an impending trial involving multiple cases of child abuse, and the possibility of shelling millions of dollars in settlements, the Archdiocese of Delaware has filed for bankruptcy.

And these are the same people who have the audacity to lecture the rest of us on morality? Give me a freakin' break.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Keeping the Right Happy

Thursday, October 08, 2009

I'll Take One Trashcan to Go, Please

Monday, October 05, 2009

Some Compelling Reasons for Opposing Health Care Reform

1. Although efforts have been made to reform the healthcare industry since 1912, we should not be too hasty in enacting change.

2. The federal government has no business interfering in people's health care decisions.... Well, unless a woman is trying to terminate a pregnancy, or the patient’s last name is Schiavo.

3. The government is incapable of running anything efficiently, and if allowed to offer a health care option, will run it so efficiently that it will put private insurers out of business.

4. We are a Christian nation, and we don’t believe in helping the least among us. Some people just don’t deserve health care. Getting sick is God's punishment for doing something wrong.

5. The current system, with 47,000,000 uninsured, a million medical bankruptcies annually, and 18,000 deaths annually due to lack of insurance, is working just fine. In fact, we have the best health care system in the world.... Provided you never get sick.

6. Even though many older couples are forced to divorce in order to avoid catastrophic financial losses due to medical expenses, it’s the homosexuals who are destroying families.

7. A conversation with your doctor about end-of-life issues is an opportunity for your doctor to convince you to kill yourself.

8. We can afford to spend more on our military than all other nations combined, but we can’t afford universal health care.

9. Single-payer, government-run health care is good enough for our men and women in uniform, but to offer the same to the general public would be socialism.

10. Pooling our resources to provide roads, schools, clean water, military, police, and fire protection for each other is not socialism. Pooling our resources to provide each other health care is socialism.

11. Socialism is bad. Very bad. Bad!

12. Health care is an issue best handled by individual states, like slavery.

13. We can afford to subsidize Israel , Iraq , and Afghanistan , all of whom have universal health care, but we can’t afford it ourselves.

14. Money and corporate profits are more important than peoples’ health. Sure, reforming the insurance companies would save thousands of lives, but shareholders’ portfolios might be damaged.

15. Freeing people from holding on to their dead-end jobs for the insurance and allowing them to become entrepreneurs would bankrupt our country.

16. Someone like physicist Stephen Hawking would have been allowed to die under the British health care system. Oh, he’s British? And alive? Never mind.

17. We already have universal health care: it’s called the Emergency Room. Uninsured people can go there for all their health needs (checkups, cancer pre-screening, chemotherapy, etc.), and it only costs the taxpayers a few thousand dollars per visit.

18. The Obama health care initiative is part of the liberal-communist-Nazi-socialist-Islamo-fascist-gay-atheist-zombie-transsexual-cannibal sociopath-evolutionist agenda to take away your freedom! If this plan is passed, abortions will be mandatory, schoolchildren will be raped by their teachers, and Negroes will murder your Grandma with her pillow!

Yes, please do share this with everyone you know. It's important that we keep spreading the truth about health care reform.

This was apparently taken from an anonymous email making the rounds on the interweb thingie, so I'm not sure who the actual author is.