Some of the year's events were major, others were minor, but they all served to shape our nation, our world, and our very lives. And yes, this is similar to the one Dave Barry does every year but with one important difference: Mine is bigger.
With that in mind, let's take one final look back at....
1994:The Year of the Bronco
January 1
Cesar "The Joker" Romero has his last laugh.
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January 04
After losing 12 games during the past season, the Redskins go on lose to their head coach.
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January 05,
Former Speaker of the House Tip O'Neil goes to the big subcommittee in the sky.
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January 10
Lorena Bobbitt's trial on charges of throwing her husband's manhood out the window of a moving vehicle opens in Manassas, VA.
And in international news, President Clinton travels to Europe. Upon meeting German Chancelor Helmut Kohl for the first time, Clinton tells the rotund German leader he looks like a Sumo wrestler.
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January 11
Germany declares war on the United States.
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January 12
France surrenders.
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January 13
National figure skating champion Tonya Harding's bodyguard and two others are arrested for an attack on rival skater Nancy Kerrigan. The trio tells the judge that they were trying to change a flat, and Kerrigan's knee got in the way of the lug wrench.
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January 14
President Clinton and Russian President Boris Yeltsin sign an agreement to stop targetting nuclear missiles at each other's countries and instead aim them at open stretches of ocean.
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January 15
The ambassador from Atlantis files a formal protest with the United Nations.
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January 17
A massive earthquake rocks southern California. Seismologists trace the epicenter to Tom and Roseanne Arnold's bedroom.
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January 18
Buffetted by constant criticism for being even shorter than Ross Perot, Bobby Ray Inman withdraws his nomination for Secretary of Defense. The New York Times, for one, denies there was a conspiracy, adding that the "great media cabal are in agreement that the little squirt should have stood on a phone book" while making the announcement.
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January 19
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January 20
Much of the Midwest and east coast remain in the grip of subzero weather with wind chills of minus 50 or more. Some power companies resort to rolling blackouts while others threaten to send Roseanne to the homes of people who don't voluntarily lower their thermostats.
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January 21
While women's groups hail the surprisingly swift "not guilty" verdict in the Lorena Bobbitt trial, the three male members of the jury undergo some sort of "emergency reattachment" surgery at a local hospital.
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January 22
Telly Savalas has his last lollipop.
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January 23
Mobs take to the streets, riots rock major US cities, and vigilante justice squads terrorize the countryside as a stunned nation struggles to deal with the realization that the Buffalo Bills are in the Super Bowl yet again.
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January 24
John Madden signs with Fox TV Sports. His $32 million contract contains a provision that can call is sick whenever the Buffalo Bills make it to the Super Bowl.
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January 26
A somber President Clinton, in his State of the Union address, calls on the Buffalo Bills to "do the right thing" and voluntarily withdraw from future Super Bowls.
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January 27
Tonya Harding offers to have her bodyguards bash several Bills players on their knees in exchange for a gold medal.
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January 28
Yet another winter storm paralyzes the east coast. An angry mob storms the set of the Today show and takes Willard Scott hostage.
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January 30
In a surprise move, the Bills lose to the Cowboys in the Super Bowl. Confused viewers wonder if they're watching a live broadcast, or a rerun of last year's game.
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January 31
The Chicago White Sox deny rumors that Michael Jackson plans to try out for the team. Says an amused White Sox spokesman, "That's about as likely as a Heisman trophy winning football star turned TV announcer killing his ex-wife."
